Empowering My Daughter

An article I wrote for Plus Parents Magazine:
Personal Stories November 2012
By: Laura Moore 

Being overweight has been a constant issue in my life. I worked hard at school; I learnt how to make people laugh; I was friendly to everyone; but I never felt comfortable. It was always a case of making myself seem as small as possible, in the hope that people wouldn't notice me, or of being over-the-top funny in order to take the attention away from my size. I absolutely hated my body, and I knew it was the reason I never had a boyfriend. There was no way any man would ever be attracted to me. I was wrong, of course. In 2009 I married a tall, handsome man, in whom all my husband requirements were fulfilled. And he thinks I'm beautiful.

I grew up in a Christian family. We were brought up to believe that God doesn't make mistakes, and that we were "fearfully and wonderfully made." My body is "a temple of the Holy Spirit," and as such I ought to treat it with the utmost respect and care. But from the age of five years old I steadily increased in weight. I was put on steroids for my asthma, and despite only eating what the rest of my (slim and slender) family were eating, I got bigger and bigger. There were clear signs that my hormones were at fault, though doctor after doctor failed to pick up or acknowledge that, until I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) at the age of 27. One doctor even told me that perhaps I was just meant to be fat! I was bullied at school. I couldn't find fashionable clothes to fit me. I felt decidedly ugly. How could I reconcile what I saw in the mirror with this idea that my body was a perfect creation?

It wasn't until just over a year ago that I finally saw my body for what it really is...

I still don't see the beauty that my husband tells me is there, though I'm working on it. I'm four sizes bigger than the average UK or US woman; my stomach is big and hangs down; I have bingo-wings. However, I now have deep respect, pride and love for my body. Yes, I love my body - not for how it looks, but for what it has achieved. It is imperfect, but it is incredible. This body grew a baby, and birthed her naturally. For 9 months a little person lived inside me. She grew healthy and strong, and she is absolutely perfect. She's only a year old, so she has no hang ups about her body. I don't know at what age she will start to notice herself or begin to doubt her own beauty. News articles speak of seven year olds going on diets; my friend's three year old is worried that she isn't pretty; I was five when I was called a witch because I had black hair.

For now she is safe, but the older my daughter gets, the less I will be able to shield her. I can keep fashion magazines out of our house, but I won't be able to control what other people say to her. I can tell her every day how beautiful she is, but I can't dictate how other children will treat her.  What I can do is give her the tools to deal with those words and the feelings they will evoke; I can teach her the truth about her body; and I can model good self esteem. I will teach her about the sanctity of life; that all people are to be valued and respected regardless of how they look or what they can and can't do; and that no matter what someone else says, it is how God sees her and how she feels about herself that are paramount. But the most important thing I can do for her is to be constantly affirmative and positive about myself.

Everywhere we look, women are being told what is beautiful, and if we don't live up to the airbrushed images we see, then we fall short of beauty. I do not know a single woman who is happy with the way she looks. We are striving for unattainable perfection, and even when others do not criticise, we are our own worst enemies. Sometimes I have to check myself as I become aware that if I spoke about someone else the way I speak about myself, then I would be the rudest, most unkind and insensitive person I have ever met. As Kate Winslet said in a recent interview, "When I was growing up there wasn't one woman in my environment who I heard saying something positive about her body. Everything I heard was negative, negative, negative." I have made the decision to be different, for if my daughter is to grow up thinking positively of herself and her body, I must model this behaviour myself. I must accept and love the way I look, and talk only well of it. I must be positive for her sake

Through her birth, my perfect daughter has enabled me to accept that I am a perfect creation, and I in turn will help her to grow up knowing that she too is perfect.

Bible in a Year - Day 199

Day 193 - Psalm 4, 5 & 6; Acts 16:16-40
In peace I will lie down and sleep,
    for you alone, Lord,
    make me dwell in safety. (Psalm 4:8)
But I, by your great love,
    can come into your house;
in reverence I bow down    towards your holy temple. (Psalm 5:7)
 Turn, Lord, and deliver me;    save me because of your unfailing love. (Psalm 6:4)
The Lord has heard my cry for mercy;    the Lord accepts my prayer. (Psalm 6:9)
...he was filled with joy because he had come to believe in God – he and his whole household. (Acts 16:34) 

Bible in a Year - Day 192

Day 186 - Job 29 & 30; Acts 12
Suddenly an angel of the Lord appeared and a light shone in the cell. He struck Peter on the side and woke him up. “Quick, get up!” he said, and the chains fell off Peter’s wrists. (Acts 12:7)
Then Peter came to himself and said, “Now I know without a doubt that the Lord has sent his angel and rescued me from Herod’s clutches and from everything the Jewish people were hoping would happen.” (Acts 12:11)

Thankful Thursday - The Right Support

Today I want to say how grateful I am for the Attachment Parenting group I am a part of. It's so wonderful to be with people who don't make me feel weird for 'still' breastfeeding. (Seriously, why would I give up the easiest way of calming a tantrum, easing the pain of a bumped head and settling to sleep?!) I love being able to discuss slings and cloth nappies. And it's so encouraging to be able to talk about frequent night wakings without hearing the dubious advice of controlled crying or cry it out; to learn what normal child behaviour is; and to feel reassured about the parenting choices the hubby and I are making.

I am also grateful for Attachment Parenting, because it helps me to understand how God parents us. He meets our needs, and never leaves us to cry alone. Even when we need to 'cry', He holds us throughout. I think I shall write a post about God as the Ultimate Attachment Parent one day!

If you're interested in Attachment Parenting, check out the following sites:
http://www.attachmentparenting.co.uk/
http://www.askdrsears.com/?q=topics/attachment-parenting
http://www.attachmentparenting.org/

What are you grateful for this week?

Halloween

Evil exists.

Every time we read a newspaper or watch the news, we see the actions of evil in the world.

Paedophilia, murder, bombings, torture, kidnappings.

Every day we complain about the dreadful things that people do to each other.

See no evil; speak no evil; hear no evil.

Except for one day.

Tagging Tuesday - The Arts

Today I have two arty recommendations for you:

Firstly, a blog that I was recently introduced to by a friend - The Imagination Tree. It's full of fabulous arty, crafty ideas to do with children. There are activities for younger children too, so I can even try some out with B. Interesting and useful for parents, teachers and children & youth workers.

Secondly, a site with some beautiful photography: Anna Hornby Photography. I think the photographs are beautiful and incredibly well shot. I don't know a lot about photography, so I can't talk technically, but they're definitely worth looking at. Some are for sale too.

And finally, here's a bonus - a site that might just help you out:
99 Life Hacks to make your life easier!

Any blogs or sites to recommend this week?

Bible in a Year - Day 185

Day 179 - Job 10, 11 & 12; Acts 8:1-25
You gave me life and showed me kindness,and in your providence watched over my spirit. (Job 10:12)
In his hand is the life of every creature
and the breath of every human being. (Job 12:10)

Foody Friday - Ready, Steady, Bake!

My week has been full of baking. Coffee and walnut cake for my Dad's birthday. I had to make this twice as the first time I forgot to dissolve the coffee before mixing it into the batter! Result: an ok tasting sponge with flecks of coffee granules through - saved it for home consumption only!
I have also made our Christmas cake, giving plenty of time to feed it full of sherry. Christmas cake making time is one of my favourites. The house smells warm and spicy, and my hands take on a citrus scent from zesting the lemon and orange. I love to see the jewelled fruits shining as they get stirred into the batter. And this year I added two tablespoons of sloe gin at the end, due to being short of brandy - touch I hope will add an extra depth to the cake. And having made the cake, we're now on the countdown to Christmas - my favourite time of year.

Thankful Thursday - Mum's the Word!

This week I am super grateful for my Mum. The hubby was away for one night, and Mum came to stay over to keep me company and keep me sane. She took us out to Ikea too - always good for a fun day out. But there's so much more about my mum that makes me want to thank her.

Tagging Tuesday

I love reading other people's blogs. There are so many clever, funny and interesting people out there. Some of the blogs I read are really quite well known and popular; others have fewer readers and/or are just starting out. Most of them have entered my awareness through recommendations from others. So, it's about time I started recommending them to you...

Bible in a Year - Day 178

Day 172 - Nehemiah 12 & 13; Acts 4:23-37
With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus. And God’s grace was so powerfully at work in them all that there was no needy person among them. For from time to time those who owned land or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales and put it at the apostles’ feet, and it was distributed to anyone who had need. (Acts 4:33-35)

Foody Friday

In a bid to save money, be healthier and eat a more varied menu each week, we decided to start getting an organic vegetable box delivered. So, last Friday we received our first box of Abel & Cole organic veg, and it was tasty! It's definitely saved us money, as there was no need to pop out to the supermarket for a couple of things, which always ends up with us buying a couple of bags worth and spending far too much. And we've enjoyed some really delicious meals this week. I always plan the menu for at least the week, though I did it for three weeks this month, and then I do an online shop for meat and long-lasting foods. Our dinners were starting to look a bit samey, so the injection of these scrummy vegetables - some of which I just wouldn't think to buy normally - has really livened up our meal times.

Romanesco Cauliflower - God's own vegetable!

What was in our box, I hear you asking.
Fennel
Kale
Onions
Carrots
Celery
Romanesco Cauliflower
Portobello Mushrooms
Cos Lettuce

Thankful Thursday

Before I was a mummy, I was a teacher. An English teacher, to be precise. My love of correct grammar and punctuation was actually important, and something I could inflict upon others and be paid to do so. I loved teaching. I especially loved teaching my lower ability classes. At the end of each day I felt I had achieved something. With one class it might be that they could all now use an apostrophe correctly; with another it could be that they were able to construct brilliant introductions to their essays and understand how to include quotations; with one class, it was a successful lesson if I had got them all sitting where I wanted them to, and been able to do the register without interruption! It's amazing how thankful those little things could make me. And I rarely felt that a day had gone by without anything to be thankful for. Even if the kids had been difficult all day, my colleagues were fabulous. (Note here - I'm not talking about working at that dreadful school in Yateley, but the wonderful one in Winchester.)

Bible in a Year - Day 171

Day 165 - Ezra 3, 4 & 5; John 20
Again Jesus said, ‘Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you.’ And with that he breathed on them and said, ‘Receive the Holy Spirit. (John 20:21-22) 


Day 166 - Ezra 6, 7 & 8; John 21
On the twelfth day of the first month we set out from the Ahava Canal to go to Jerusalem. The hand of our God was on us, and he protected us from enemies and bandits along the way. (Ezra 8:31)
When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, ‘Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?’
‘Yes, Lord,’ he said, ‘you know that I love you.’
Jesus said, ‘Feed my lambs.’
Again Jesus said, ‘Simon son of John, do you love me?’
He answered, ‘Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.’
Jesus said, ‘Take care of my sheep.’
The third time he said to him, ‘Simon son of John, do you love me?’
Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, ‘Do you love me?’ He said, ‘Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.’
Jesus said, ‘Feed my sheep. (John 21:15-17)

Bible in a Year - Day 164

Day 158 - 2 Chronicles 20, 21 & 22; John 16:1-15
He said: ‘Listen, King Jehoshaphat and all who live in Judah and Jerusalem! This is what the Lord says to you: “Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s. (2 Chronicles 20:15)
 

Day 159 - 2 Chronicles 23, 24 & 25; John 16:16-33
‘I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.’ (John 16:33)

Bible in a Year - Day 157

Day 151 - 1 Chronicles 28 & 29; John 11:47-57
David also said to Solomon his son, ‘Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you until all the work for the service of the temple of the Lord is finished. (1 Chronicles 28:20)

Growing Up

When I think of the achievements in my life - graduating, paying council tax, getting married, buying a house, having a baby - not one of them has made me feel as much like a proper adult as finding myself on holiday, eating homemade egg and cress sandwiches and drinking coffee from a flask at a National Trust site! Oh yes! In that, I reached the summit of growing up, and all before turning 30. It's all about maturity from here on in.

The hubby, on the other hand, took being a grown up a little too far this week. He had a rant about the council and their poor recycling policy, and he found his first grey chest hair. It's like being married to Victor Meldrew!

Bible in a Year - Day 150

Day 144 - 1 Chronicles 8, 9 & 10; John 8:37-59


Day 145 - 1 Chronicles 11, 12 & 13; John 9:1-23
The ark of God remained with the family of Obed-Edom in his house for three months, and the Lord blessed his household and everything he had. (1 Chronicles 13:14)
As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, ‘Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?’
‘Neither this man nor his parents sinned,’ said Jesus, ‘but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him. (John 9:1-3)
After saying this, he spat on the ground, made some mud with the saliva, and put it on the man’s eyes. ‘Go,’ he told him, ‘wash in the Pool of Siloam’ (this word means ‘Sent’). So the man went and washed, and came home seeing. (John 9:6-7)

Bible in a Year - Day 143

Day 137 - 2 Kings 15, 16 & 17; John 6:1-21
But he said to them, ‘It is I; don’t be afraid.’ (John 6:20)

Holiday?

They say a change is as good as a rest. Well, I'm about to put that to the test. You see, we're about to go on our first family holiday, just the three of us, not staying with friends or family. Only I'm not sure there is such a thing as a holiday when you have a baby.

Hubby gets time off work - he can sleep longer, leave his laptop and his Blackberry behind, and someone else will deal with the customers.

I will be doing what I normally do: being a mummy, with all that entails, including nighttime breastfeeds, waking when the baby wakes, keeping the three of us organised, watered and fed. I won't be resting.

He's going to be doing all the nappy changes though. That's our deal. And I'll be allowed to go to the toilet alone.

Now, if I can just wangle the odd relaxing bath, I can have a change AND a rest...

Bible in a Year - Day 136

Day 130 - 1 Kings 19 & 20; John 2
All at once an angel touched him and said, ‘Get up and eat.’ He looked around, and there by his head was some bread baked over hot coals, and a jar of water. He ate and drank and then lay down again. (1 Kings 19:5-6)
Jesus said to the servants, ‘Fill the jars with water’; so they filled them to the brim.
Then he told them, ‘Now draw some out and take it to the master of the banquet.’
They did so, and the master of the banquet tasted the water that had been turned into wine. He did not realise where it had come from, though the servants who had drawn the water knew. Then he called the bridegroom aside and said, ‘Everyone brings out the choice wine first and then the cheaper wine after the guests have had too much to drink; but you have saved the best till now.’ (John 2:7-10)

The Biggest Bed In The World by Lindsay Camp

For her birthday, B received many books. I am pleased - I'm an English teacher, remember - though I will have to start moving some of mine to our bedroom shelves to make room for hers in the lounge!
One of the best she got given was 'The Biggest Bed In The World' by Lindsay Camp and brilliantly illustrated by Jonathan Langley. If ever there was a story that supported our parenting choices, this is it. After seeing so many children's books where babies sleep alone in cots and drink from bottles, it was a pleasant surprise to see a picture of the mum breastfeeding her baby, and that co-sleeping was the premise of the book.
I was slightly discouraged when the dad made a fuss about the sleeping arrangements; such a stereotype, I thought. But, without ruining the story, I can tell you that I was very pleased by what I consider to be a happy ending!
I think this might become our family's biography.

What children's books have you discovered that support your parenting choices?

Bible in a Year - Day 129

Day 123 - 1 Kings 3, 4 & 5; Luke 23:1-26
When all Israel heard the verdict the king had given, they held the king in awe, because they saw that he had wisdom from God to administer justice. (1 Kings 3:28)
God gave Solomon wisdom and very great insight, and a breadth of understanding as measureless as the sand on the seashore. (1 Kings 4:29)

Day 124 - 1 Kings 6 & 7; Luke 23:27-38
Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” (Luke 23:34)

Day 125 - 1 Kings 8 & 9; Luke 23:39-56
You have kept your promise to your servant David my father; with your mouth you have promised and with your hand you have fulfilled it—as it is today. (1 Kings 8:24)
Praise be to the Lord, who has given rest to his people Israel just as he promised. Not one word has failed of all the good promises he gave through his servant Moses. (1 Kings 8:56)

Jesus answered him, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.” (Luke 23:43)

Baby Weigh-In Surprise

So, yesterday, I fully intended to put B in the sling and walk to Tiny Times at the Sure Start Centre to get her weighed. I haven't done this for several months, and the curiosity was getting the better of me. No matter that she has her 1 year review next week - I need to put her weight at 1 year old into her baby book, don't I?
Well, it looked like rain. We stayed at home. No walk for me, so I decided I'd better get on the Wii Fit and burn some calories. And then I had my genius idea! I would weigh B on the balance board, no probs.
I designed a Mii to look a bit like her. Short, big round head, large doe eyes, little rosebud mouth. Fine, but she looked like a grown up - that was a bit freaky.

Take One Half Empty Carton of Buttermilk...

This week we are mostly using up leftovers and tins that have been in the cupboard since before B was born.
I have become quite aware recently that we spend too much money on food, and now our daughter will more often than not eat an adult sized portion for dinner, I need to find ways to cut back on the cost of food. With sensible purchasing of a few items here and there, I think we'll manage at least a week with what we already have in the house.

My Breastfeeding Journey... So far

Yesterday was my daughter's 1st birthday. I have been breastfeeding for 1 year and 1 day.

Our First Feed in the Hospital

I am so proud of myself for getting this far, when, at the beginning, it looked like we wouldn't even reach a week! It has not been exclusive breastfeeding, much to my dismay, but this couldn't be helped, and she has had as much as she possibly could from me.

Bible in a Year - Day 122

Day 116 - 2 Samuel 13 & 14; Luke 20:1-26 


Day 117 - 2 Samuel 15 & 16; Luke 20:27-47

Day 118 - 2 Samuel 17 & 18; Luke 21:1-19
For I will give you words and wisdom that none of your adversaries will be able to resist or contradict. (Luke 21:15)
But not a hair of your head will perish. Stand firm, and you will win life. (Luke 21:18-19) 

Bible in a Year - Day 115

Day 109 - 1 Samuel 25 & 26; Luke 16:19-31
When David heard that Nabal was dead, he said, “Praise be to the Lord, who has upheld my cause against Nabal for treating me with contempt. He has kept his servant from doing wrong and has brought Nabal’s wrongdoing down on his own head.” (1 Samuel 25:39)


Day 110 - 1 Samuel 27, 28 & 29; Luke 17:1-19
“If a brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them. Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them.” (Luke 17:3-4)


Day 111 - 1 Samuel 30 & 31; Luke 17:20-37


Day 112 - 2 Samuel 1, 2 & 3; Luke 18:1-17
For the Lord promised David, ‘By my servant David I will rescue my people Israel from the hand of the Philistines and from the hand of all their enemies.’ (2 Samuel 3:18)
And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. (Luke 18:7-8)
But Jesus called the children to him and said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. (Luke 18:16)

Bible in a Year - Day 108

Day 102 - 1 Samuel 7, 8 & 9; Luke 13:1-21
On a Sabbath Jesus was teaching in one of the synagogues, and a woman was there who had been crippled by a spirit for eighteen years. She was bent over and could not straighten up at all. When Jesus saw her, he called her forward and said to her, “Woman, you are set free from your infirmity.” Then he put his hands on her, and immediately she straightened up and praised God...Then should not this woman, a daughter of Abraham, whom Satan has kept bound for eighteen long years, be set free on the Sabbath day from what bound her?” (Luke 13:10-16)
 

Day 103 - 1 Samuel 10, 11 & 12; Luke 13:22-35
After Jacob entered Egypt, they cried to the Lord for help, and the Lord sent Moses and Aaron, who brought your ancestors out of Egypt and settled them in this place. (1 Samuel 12:8)
Then the Lord sent Jerub-Baal, Barak, Jephthah and Samuel, and he delivered you from the hands of your enemies all around you, so that you lived in safety. (1 Samuel 12:11)
For the sake of his great name the Lord will not reject his people, because the Lord was pleased to make you his own. (1 Samuel 12:22)
Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were not willing. (Luke 13:34)

Bible in a Year - Day 101

Day 95 - Judges 12, 13 & 14; Luke 9:37-62
You will become pregnant and have a son whose head is never to be touched by a razor because the boy is to be a Nazirite, dedicated to God from the womb. He will begin to deliver Israel from the hands of the Philistines. (Judges 13:5)
Then he said to them, “Whoever welcomes this little child in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me. For whoever is least among you all is the greatest.” (Luke 9:48)


Day 96 - Judges 15, 16 & 17; Luke 10:1-24
Then God opened up the hollow place in Lehi, and water came out of it. When Samson drank, his strength returned and he revived. So the spring was called En Hakkore, and it is still there in Lehi. (Judges 15:19)

Bible in a Year - Day 94

Day 88 - Joshua 21 & 22; Luke 6:1-26
So the Lord gave Israel all the land he had sworn to give their ancestors, and they took possession of it and settled there. The Lord gave them rest on every side, just as he had sworn to their ancestors. Not one of their enemies withstood them; the Lord gave all their enemies into their hands. Not one of all the Lord’s good promises to the house of Israel failed; every one was fulfilled. (Joshua 21:43-45)
Then Jesus said to them, “I ask you, which is lawful on the Sabbath: to do good or to do evil, to save life or to destroy it?” He looked around at them all, and then said to the man, “Stretch out your hand.” He did so, and his hand was completely restored. (Luke 6:9-10)

Blessed are you who are poor,
    for yours is the kingdom of God. 

Blessed are you who hunger now,
    for you will be satisfied.
Blessed are you who weep now,
    for you will laugh. 

Blessed are you when people hate you,
    when they exclude you and insult you
    and reject your name as evil,
        because of the Son of Man. 

Rejoice in that day and leap for joy, because great is your reward in heaven. For that is how their ancestors treated the prophets. (Luke 6:20-23)

Bible in a Year - Day 87

Day 81 - Joshua 4, 5 & 6; Luke 2:1-24
But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord." (Luke 2:10-11)



Day 82 - Joshua 7 & 8; Luke 2:25-52
It had been revealed to him by the Holy Spirit that he would not die before he had seen the Lord’s Messiah. (Luke 2:26)
For my eyes have seen your salvation, 
which you have prepared in the sight of all nations: 
a light for revelation to the Gentiles,
and the glory of your people Israel. (Luke 2:30-32)

Bible in a Year - Day 80

Day 74 - Deuteronomy 23, 24 & 25; Mark 14:51-72
For the Lord your God moves about in your camp to protect you and to deliver your enemies to you. Your camp must be holy, so that he will not see among you anything indecent and turn away from you. (Deuteronomy 23:14)
If a slave has taken refuge with you, do not hand them over to their master. Let them live among you wherever they like and in whatever town they choose. Do not oppress them. (Deuteronomy 23:15-16)
If a man has recently married, he must not be sent to war or have any other duty laid on him. For one year he is to be free to stay at home and bring happiness to the wife he has married. (Deuteronomy 24:5)
Do not take a pair of millstones—not even the upper one—as security for a debt, because that would be taking a person’s livelihood as security. (Deuteronomy 24:6)
Do not take advantage of a hired worker who is poor and needy, whether that worker is an Israelite or is a foreigner residing in one of your towns. (Deuteronomy 24:14)
Parents are not to be put to death for their children, nor children put to death for their parents; each of you will die for your own sin. (Deuteronomy 24:16)

Bible in a Year - Day 73

Day 67 - Deuteronomy 3 & 4; Mark 11:20-33
Do not be afraid of them; the Lord your God himself will fight for you. (Deuteronomy 3:22)
What other nation is so great as to have their gods near them the way the Lord our God is near us whenever we pray to him? (Deuteronomy 4:7)
But if from there you seek the Lord your God, you will find him if you seek him with all your heart and with all your soul. (Deuteronomy 4:29)
Because he loved your ancestors and chose their descendants after them, he brought you out of Egypt by his Presence and his great strength, to drive out before you nations greater and stronger than you and to bring you into their land to give it to you for your inheritance, as it is today. (Deuteronomy 4:37-38)

Day 68 - Deuteronomy 5, 6 & 7; Mark 12:1-27
For you are a people holy to the Lord your God. The Lord your God has chosen you out of all the peoples on the face of the earth to be his people, his treasured possession. (Deuteronomy 7:6)
Know therefore that the Lord your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commandments. (Deuteronomy 7:9)

Bible in a Year - Day 66

Day 60 - Numbers 23, 24 & 25; Mark 8:1-21
God is not a human, that he should lie,
    not a human being, that he should change his mind.
Does he speak and then not act?    Does he promise and not fulfill? (Numbers 23:19)
I see him, but not now;
    I behold him, but not near.
A star will come out of Jacob;     a scepter will rise out of Israel. (Numbers 24:17a)
I have compassion for these people; they have already been with me three days and have nothing to eat. (Mark 8:2)

Day 61 - Numbers 26 & 27; Mark 8:22-38 
Say to the Israelites, ‘If a man dies and leaves no son, give his inheritance to his daughter. (Numbers 27:8)

Day 62 - Numbers 28 & 29; Mark 9:1-29 
Then a cloud appeared and covered them, and a voice came from the cloud: “This is my Son, whom I love. Listen to him!” (Mark 9:7)
But Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him to his feet, and he stood up. (Mark 9:27)

Keep Britain Breastfeeding 4 - After the 1st Month

This is my fourth post in the Keep Britain Breastfeeding Scavenger Hunt in the run up to National Breastfeeding Week 2012. If you've missed my previous posts, you can find them here:

Why I Breastfeed 

Mother to Mother Sharing 

For the Dads

This week's theme is breastfeeding beyond the first month. I thought I'd write about a few of the obstacles we faced after the first month.

"Overall, only 35 per cent of UK babies are being exclusively breastfed at one week, 21 per cent at six weeks, 7 per cent at four months and 3 per cent at five months." (UNICEF)

Far from being the massive pressure group they are often accused of being, women who breastfeed after the first month are in the minority. So, it can be difficult to find out the truth about obstacles you might face as you progress along your breastfeeding journey. Myths abound; horror stories are plentiful; doubt and worry sets in. We hear about hungry babies, who hit 4 months and threaten to consume their mothers. We discover that growth spurts keep on coming, and get longer and tougher. We are told that after 6 months breastmilk loses all its goodness and babies need extra iron. How do we sort the fact from the fiction when it's hard to find women we know who have fed past a certain point?

Bible in a Year - Day 59

I have to admit, I'm really struggling with Numbers - it's just so full of lists, and numbers! It's very hard not to just skim it.

Day 53 - Numbers 7; Mark 4:21-41
He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was completely calm. (Mark 4:39)

Day 54 - Numbers 8, 9 & 10; Mark 5:1-20
For Jesus had said to him, “Come out of this man, you evil spirit!” (Mark 5:8)

Day 55 - Numbers 11, 12 & 13; Mark 5:21-43
I will come down and speak with you there, and I will take some of the power of the Spirit that is on you and put it on them. They will share the burden of the people with you so that you will not have to carry it alone. (Numbers 11:17)

How Dads Can Support Breastfeeding - Keep Britain Breastfeeding 3

This is the 3rd post as part of the Keep Britain Breastfeeding Scavenger Hunt in the run up to National Breastfeeding Week 2012. This week's theme is support, so I asked one of my greatest supporters to guest post. So, without further ado, I hand over to my husband, Chris, who will spill the beans on ways to support your partner in establishing breastfeeding:

I've been asked to do a guest post as part of the Keep Britain Breastfeeding Scavenger Hunt. I'm a father of one darling daughter, B, (DD in the mummy online speak) and have been in the profession for nearly 10 months and wow, what an amazing time it's been. My wife, Laura, and I had been married for 1 and a half years before B came along which has also been an amazing time, with more fun times to come.

So...breastfeeding. During her pregnancy, Laura and I had been discussing how we were going to care for our baby and how we were going to feed her, which really helped flush out any issues that could have come up post-arrival. Laura had been breastfed until she was 2 years old and I was breastfed until I was I few weeks old. Laura's mum had lots of support from La Leche League. My mum didn't. Support is key in enabling a mum to establish breastfeeding.

There are so many techniques, books, strategies out there that people follow to bring up their child. Some more than others. But we decided that we would breastfeed B. Well, Laura would. And herein lies the reason for writing this guest post:

How can we support our partners to establish and continue breastfeeding?

Bible in a Year - Day 52

Day 46: Leviticus 20 & 21; Matthew 28
Say to the Israelites: ‘Any Israelite or any foreigner residing in Israel who sacrifices any of his children to Molek is to be put to death. The members of the community are to stone him. (Leviticus 20:2)
Anyone who curses their father or mother is to be put to death. Because they have cursed their father or mother, their blood will be on their own head. If a man commits adultery with another man’s wife —with the wife of his neighbor—both the adulterer and the adulteress are to be put to death. (Leviticus 20:9-10)
 But I said to you, “You will possess their land; I will give it to you as an inheritance, a land flowing with milk and honey.” I am the Lord your God, who has set you apart from the nations. (Leviticus 20:24) 
You are to be holy to me because I, the Lord, am holy, and I have set you apart from the nations to be my own. (Leviticus 20:26) 
He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. (Matthew 28:6) 
Then Jesus said to them, “Do not be afraid. Go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee; there they will see me.” (Matthew 28:10) 
And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age. (Matthew 28:20b) 

Keep Britain Breastfeeding 2 - Mother to Mother Sharing

This post is part of the Keep Britain Breastfeeding Scavenger Hunt in the run up to National Breastfeeding Week 2012. This week's theme is mum-to-mum sharing. I asked several of my friends and family who have breastfed their children, or still are, for their experiences and tips. Here are their responses:

1) What was one thing you wish you had known about breastfeeding before you started?

• Even though you can't see how much your baby is having, it will be enough if you keep going. 
• I wish that I'd known it was normal for babies to feed frequently - every 30 minutes sometimes! 
• I wish I'd been prepared to be made to feel bad about breastfeeding by friends and family who hadn't breastfed their babies. They either tried to convince me that F wasn't getting enough, or that I was making them feel guilty because they hadn't been able to breastfeed, or that I was depriving them of time with F. Really!
• That it could be so easy, cheap, nutritious, bonding, and a very special feeling that lasts all your life! (I know it's not easy for everyone)
• That doctors and health visitors don't really know much about breastfeeding - it's not part of their training - and so they can give some very bad advice.

Bible in a Year - Day 45

Day 41 - Leviticus 10, 11 & 12; Matthew 26:1-19
Leviticus is a difficult book so far. I'm struggling to find evidence of our loving God, though perhaps Leviticus 12 shows His love for women. They are unclean from 33 (after a boy) to 66 (after a girl) days after birth. I do not profess to understand all the clean and unclean laws, but I do wonder if perhaps this law was to allow women the chance to rest, recuperate and bond with their new babies. They would be unable to do anything for anyone else, for fear of making them unclean too, so would be free to sleep, to cuddle, to breastfeed, to settle into motherhood. And while it seems unfair that the period of uncleanliness is longer after giving birth to a girl, perhaps this was to allow an extra time of bonding with a new daughter, who would not have the immediate status and importance of a son, and so might need extra love and attachment.

Bible in a Year - Day 40

Day 40 - Leviticus 7, 8 & 9; Matthew 25:31-46

“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ (Matthew 25:40)

I love that our God is so good that He calls us to love Him by loving others, by loving the least of these. God loves the people that society forgets and ignores: the hungry and thirsty, the stranger, the naked, the sick and the prisoner. I think this includes the unborn child, the homeless, drug addicts and immigrants too. It's about valuing people because they are God's perfect creations, and because He loves us first.

Keep Britain Breastfeeding - 1: Why I Breastfeed

DISCLAIMER: I am glad that formula exists - my girl would have starved without it. I believe that scientists who work to make it "closer to breastmilk" do care about babies and want them to be healthy, but the companies do seem to be solely profit-hunting. I am not judging women who choose not to breastfeed, though I admit that I struggle to understand why they don't.


Benefits of Breastfeeding
This week's theme is 'Benefits of Breastfeeding' which ought to be the easiest thing to write about. There are hundreds of benefits, but they're out there already for everyone to read at their leisure. Why should my repeating them be any better at spreading the word? So, I thought, how to make it more personal, more relevant? I asked myself the following - Why did I choose to breastfeed?

My Breastfeeding History

It's normal and natural

I grew up in a breastfeeding family, so to me it has always been normal. The slogan "Breast is Best" really bugs me. It's not best; it's normal and natural; anything else is substandard and unnatural. Hey, even Jesus was breastfed! That slogan is loved by the formula companies because it makes formula seem normal, and breastfeeding better. Who needs better, when normal will do? ¹ But, I digress. We're here to talk benefits of breastfeeding, not the disadvantages and risks of formula feeding, although they amount to the same thing. There are many risks involved in formula feeding.
My mum was a La Leche League counsellor. I have great memories of meeting with LLL families and playing with the other children while our mums sat chatting and nursing our siblings. And I remember going to women's houses and waiting while Mum helped them with feeding their tiny babies. It wasn't until I was a teenager that I really realised there was another way to feed a baby.

Bible in a Year - Day 39

Day 26 - Exodus 11 & 12; Matthew 18:21-35
‘It is the Passover sacrifice to the Lord, who passed over the houses of the Israelites in Egypt and spared our homes when he struck down the Egyptians.’” Then the people bowed down and worshiped. (Exodus 12:27)

The Lord had made the Egyptians favorably disposed toward the people, and they gave them what they asked for; so they plundered the Egyptians. (Exodus 12:36)

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive someone who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. (Matthew 18:21-22)

“The servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go. (Matthew 18:26-27)

Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ (Matthew 18:33)

Keep Britain Breastfeeding - My Involvement

24th-30th June 2012 is National Breastfeeding Week.
Last year, the government funding for the National Breastfeeding Week was cut. Despite all the evidence of the benefits of breastfeeding, especially its ability to cut the risk of obesity and diabetes, the government decided that encouraging women to breastfeed, providing support and advice, and normalising breastfeeding was not as important as, say, spending extra money on the Olympics, or aircraft carriers that won't carry anything, or giving every school a copy of the Bible in a difficult to understand translation! (It's not the Bible I disapprove of, but the antiquated language.)
So, various groups and individuals took the initiative to run the week themselves, organising activities and fundraisers around the country to ensure the importance of breastfeeding was highlighted.
This year, one event is the Keep Britain Breastfeeding Scavenger Hunt. I will be involved in this, blogging once a week through June on different aspects of breastfeeding. There will be lots of blogs to read, and opportunities to win goodies.
If you want to join the hunt, or just want to find out more, click the pic:

Bible in a Year - Day 25

Oh dear. Poorly baby, busy weekend and hubby away on business have all kept me from blogging. Life and people are much more important though, and I am glad of it. I am up to date on my reading. On Friday I finished Genesis, and Saturday brought the beginning of Exodus.

The readings:
Day 18 - Genesis 42 & 43; Matthew 13:33-58
Continuing the story of Joseph. God's love for Joseph is apparent here, as his dreams come true when his brothers bow down before him. And His love for Jacob and his sons who, despite their wrongdoings, are still His people and will be provided for.

Day 19 - Genesis 44 & 45; Matthew 14:1-21
But don’t be upset, and don’t be angry with yourselves for selling me to this place. It was God who sent me here ahead of you to preserve your lives. (Genesis 45:5)
God plans ahead for us. He loves us even when it seems He has forgotten us.

Keep Britain Breastfeeding

Just a link to find out more about the Keep Britain Breastfeeding Scavenger Hunt:
http://boobiemilk.blogspot.co.uk/p/keep-britain-breastfeeding-scavenger.html

Bible in a Year - Day 17

Good grief  - it's 5 days since I last posted about my Bible in a Year challenge, but I can assure you I have been keeping up with the reading.

In a bid to keep this from being the longest post ever written, I shall give the readings and the verses that I feel most show God's love.

Day 13 - Genesis 31 & 32; Matthew 10:24-42
...yet your father has cheated me by changing my wages ten times. However, God has not allowed him to harm me. 
(Genesis 31:7)

If the God of my father, the God of Abraham and the Fear of Isaac, had not been with me, you would surely have sent me away empty-handed. But God has seen my hardship and the toil of my hands, and last night he rebuked you. 
(Genesis 31:42)

Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.  
(Matthew 10:29-31)

And if anyone gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones who is known to be my disciple, truly I tell you, that person will certainly be rewarded. 
(Matthew 10:42)

Wholesome Talk

This weekend I had the misfortune to be referred to as militant when it comes to breastfeeding. Not to my face.

I'm not militant, or, at least, I have tried my hardest not to be. I am passionate and interested, and I know how difficult breastfeeding can be and how little support there is. So, if I come across an article or blogpost that I find interesting or busts a myth or could help someone, I pop it on Facebook. If this comes across as militantly forcing my opinions, then this is because of people's lack of understanding when it comes to social networking. I have never sat anyone down and forced them at gunpoint to read anything I put on Facebook or Twitter. Nor have I ever been unkind to someone who has chosen to feed or parent their child in a different way to me. If my friends aren't interested, they don't have to read what I post. They have a choice - social networking sites provide the option of not seeing things if you wish not to. I've made use of this. I no longer have to view offensive comments about my faith, dull comments on the weather or attention seeking statuses.

Bible in a Year - Day 12

A busy few baby days, so the following is a round up, rather than a deep look at each day's readings.

Day 9 - Genesis 23 & 24; Matthew 8
Today's verses of note show: 

- God's faithfulness and His approval of those who believe:
Abraham was now very old, and the Lord had blessed him in every way. (Genesis 24:1)
“Praise be to the Lord, the God of my master Abraham, who has not abandoned his kindness and faithfulness to my master. As for me, the Lord has led me on the journey to the house of my master’s relatives.”(Genesis 24:27)

- And Jesus' love for those who needed Him: 
When evening came, many who were demon-possessed were brought to him, and he drove out the spirits with a word and healed all the sick. (Matthew 8:16)

Day 10 - Genesis 25 & 26; Matthew 9:1-17

God is faithful and trustworthy in His love for us. He loved Isaac because He loved Abraham:

Bible in a Year - Day 8

Genesis 20, 21 & 22; Matthew 7

Today we see God's faithfulness. His faithfulness in keeping promises, His faithfulness to provide and His faithfulness when we fail Him.

In Genesis 20 we once again see Abraham failing to trust God to protect him. Despite God's repeated promise to give him a son by Sarah, Abraham worries that she will be taken from him and that he will be killed. He falls back on his old trick of lying about her being his wife. This isn't surprising. The truly amazing part is that God remains faithful to him. God intends to keep His promise - so much so that he prevents Abimelek from being able to perform sexually, thus preventing any doubt over whose child Sarah will carry. He continues to acknowledge Abraham when his behaviour is so embarrassing. What a poor witness Abraham is, what a faithless man. Abimelek - the pagan - is more upright, honest and God-fearing than Abraham at this point. And yet, God still calls Abraham a prophet, still protects him and still listens to his prayers. Then Abraham prayed to God, and God healed Abimelek, his wife and his female slaves so they could have children again. (Genesis 20:17)

What we learn here is that it is God's faithfulness that saves us, not our own. We see God's grace at work in Abraham's life. This believer stumbles, but he is secure in God's promise. Our failures do not cause God to desert us.
This is the eternal security of the believer. Once saved, we are saved for good, even when our behaviour doesn't live up to that. This is Grace.

Bible in a Year - Day 7

Day 5 - Genesis 12, 13 & 14; Matthew 5:1-26

In Genesis 12 God speaks to Abram. He tells him to move, to leave everything he knows and head for a new land. In return He makes this promise to Abram:

“I will make you into a great nation,
    and I will bless you;
I will make your name great,
    and you will be a blessing.  

I will bless those who bless you,
    and whoever curses you I will curse;
and all peoples on earth
    will be blessed through you.”

(Genesis 12:2-3)

Wouldn't it be wonderful if God would do that for us every time He asks us to do something or go somewhere; if He would give us a clear promise of what we will accomplish or receive or learn through our obedience? But look a bit further on. Abram was 75. Sarai, his wife was 65. They had no children. God's promise was that this aged, childless couple would be the beginnings of a great nation, that all peoples would be blessed through them. It wasn't exactly a clear, easily believable promise, was it.

Bible in a Year - Day 4

Genesis 9, 10 & 11; Matthew 4

How apt that I should read God's Covenant with Noah while outside it is grey and bleak and pouring down with rain. It was sunny yesterday, after what has felt like weeks of rain, but it's raining again today. Isn't it funny how just one day of rain can wash away all memory of the sunny days? There's something deep in that somewhere, isn't there. And perhaps it's just because I'm English, but when the sun comes, we make the absolute most of it because we fully expect rain to be just around the corner. Trouble will always come again.

Bible in a Year - Day 3

As many have done before me, I am attempting to read the Bible in a year. Not my first full read-through, but my first with a time limit and a reason. I sometimes struggle to recognise God's love for me; to see how He loves me personally and not just as one of many. So, as I read now, I am trying to pick out every verse that explicitly shows God as loving. Furthermore, I have often heard people saying that the God of the Old Testament is a harsh, cruel god, not one of love, so hopefully this will enable me to refute those claims.

I began reading on Saturday, so I'm day 3 now.

Day 1: Genesis 1 & 2; Matthew 1
In the beginning God creates. Everything. And it's all for us. For me. The earth and everything in it were created to enable us to live the lives God gave us.

God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.” Then God said, “I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food. (Genesis 1:28-29)

God blessed them. First He created human beings and then He blessed them. What a wonderful start to life - receiving God's blessing. And then receiving the gift of His Creation.

We can see just how much God loved His final creations - man and woman - from His final thoughts before resting: God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. (Genesis 1:31) Up until this point all that God saw was merely "good," but when He sees His human beings, He sees that everything is now "very good."

If Jesus was your child...

If Jesus was your child,
Would you leave him there,
To cry himself to sleep?

If Jesus was your child,
Would you ignore his cries,
And say he has to learn?

Or would you hold him close,
And console him,
As he would console you?

If Jesus was your child,
Would you complain that he
Only sucks for comfort?

If Jesus was your child,
Would you make him
Get used to hunger?

Or would you pick him up
And feed him at your breast;
Nourishing and comforting,
As he would care for you?

If Jesus was your child,
Would you shout at him,
For acting like a child?

If Jesus was your child,
Would you deprive him of
Your love 'til he complies?

Or would you cuddle him
And explain where he's gone wrong?
Help him to understand
Each new feeling that he has?

Would you change your style
Of parenting,
If Jesus was your child?

“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’" (Matthew 25:40 TNIV)

Time flies

My teeny weeny bo beeny isn't so teeny any more. At 24 weeks she's sitting up much longer by herself, and mimicking us. We started baby led weaning last night, after I noticed that she's lost the tongue thrust reflex and was imitating our chewing. Oh, and she stole my banana! So, her first official meal was Grandma's potato wedges and some cabbage from the coleslaw. Boy, did she enjoy that! Grandma's floor wasn't so keen. Exciting, but scary. Where did my tiny baby go? Not only this new stage, but last night she snuggled into my arms and put herself to sleep. She's never done that before. Must be Granddad's influence. I must admit though that I missed breastfeeding her to sleep. Luckily, when we got home, she accepted a little dream feed.
Time has flown so fast. She's nearly 6 months old. In 2 weeks, she'll be closer to a year than to her birth. It's such an amazing journey to be on. Such an honour to be a part of it. It's been tough going, but I wouldn't be without her for the world.
Now, I'm just hoping she starts swallowing the solids soon so that she'll cut down on the formula and eventually we can get to breastfeeding alone. A full night's sleep would be nice too - just once a fortnight would be fine!

Goodbye. Hello

2011 has been, to use a cliche, a rollercoaster of a year, though I'm not sure that's the right phrase to use. Some people enjoy every part of rollercoasters! It's had its ups and its downs, its highs and its lows, just like any year, I suppose.

The heights were reached when Beatrice was born. What a wonder! The miracle of pregnancy and birth is awesome. That a human being could grow inside another, inside me, like a couple of Russian dolls, is incomprehensible. That she could be pushed out without killing me is amazing! And every morning I get to see such lovely smiles, so gorgeous that the nights of broken sleep are (almost) forgotten. Every day with her is wonderful.

Other highs were buying a house, the birth of our niece, my sister-in-law getting engaged and being a bridesmaid for one of my best friends.

But of course, as in everything, there have been bitter moments.

Desert Time

This week I saw a photo of the first time I breastfed my beautiful baby daughter. It made me cry. I looked so happy, so natural. And yet now, twelve weeks later, I am no longer exclusively breastfeeding. My body failed me and my daughter. Insufficient glandular tissue in my breasts means that I have a chronically low milk supply. My baby lost so much weight that we had to start topping her up with formula, and now she is mainly formula fed with my breast milk as the top up and the comforter.
Apparently I was fearfully and wonderfully made, but how do I believe that when I find myself in the 1-2% of women who are physically unable to keep their baby alive with their own body?