Mamatography 35 - Me and Mine: August

Our family photo this month was taken at my sister-in-law's wedding. Here we are in the grounds at the reception venue, before the meal. The girls looked lovely. B was a Flower Girl, and M had a matching dress. The Hubby was suited and booted as a Groomsman, and looked incredibly handsome. After months of searching for a dress that would fit, look good and allow breastfeeding access, I had to settle for a maternity/nursing dress from JoJo Maman Bebe. A lovely dress, but not what I had been looking for - jersey, so a bit too clingy really. Still, I got to wear my beautiful, beautiful shoes. The most comfortable pair of heels I have ever owned! I'm quite happy with this photo - I look much better than I thought I did. The hubby looks really happy too.

Mamatography 33 - Keeping Up With The Bake Off

 

Banoffee Swiss Roll - proud of my first Swiss Roll! Only a tiny crack. Too much filling though. 

Individual Boiled Fruit Cakes - perfect for Christmas gifts. 

Savoury Biscuits - Gluten Free, cheesey. Packed with protein!

I've fallen way behind and I haven't even watched episode 3 of the Bake Off. I have to focus on my children, though, no matter how much I love my baking!

This post is part of the Mamatography 2014 Project with Diary of a First Child and Momma Jorje.

We are taking (at least) a photo a day, a collage or a picture each week to keep a record of our year. Join us at any point during the year and start sharing your own daily photos!

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One Thing I Have Learnt

Today is my 31st birthday. I wanted to write a clever blog with 31 inspiring things I've learnt in my life, etc., but I couldn't really think of 31 things that would be at all interesting to anyone. 

There is one thing I have learnt though. Other people will be the way they are no matter what we do. It's rare that we can change someone else's behaviour, and so we can only be responsible for our own. Some people will be unkind or rude or challenging or dishonest, no matter how we behave towards them. And so, no matter how hard it is, we must be kind. That is the only thing that will raise us up. To be unkind will only bring us down to their level. 

Mother Teresa put it so much better:

Or, in the words of Bill S. Preston Esq., "Be excellent to each other!" (Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure)

Mamatography 32: Siblings - August

Sometimes I try to set up lovely photos of these two, and the pictures I get are never as lovely as the natural ones, the pictures of their spontaneous love for each other. B loves to kiss and stroke and cuddle M. M doesn't seem phased by it! 

M has entered a screeching phase. Her high pitched screams make my ears ring. She's learnt it from B though. The pair of them enjoy sitting at the kitchen table, screaming and laughing at each other. The hubby and I don't enjoy it quite so much, though the glee on their faces is a little infectious!

B is getting used to M's mobile status. She's not entirely happy that her little sister can get to her toys with much greater ease, but she does like the fact that M shuffles around to look for her and they both grin when she is found. M misses B when she's not around, and will nurse more because she doesn't have her big sister to watch and be entertained by. 

They are lovely together and I so enjoy seeing them become better friends each day. 

This post is part of the Mamatography 2014 Project with Diary of a First Child and Momma Jorje.

We are taking (at least) a photo a day, a collage or a picture each week to keep a record of our year. Join us at any point during the year and start sharing your own daily photos!

Click Get the code here below to add the blog hop to your blog and join the fun. (Also sign up to be added to a comment group!)

Mamatography 31 - Keeping Up with The Bake Off

The Great British Bake Off is back. We love it in our house. And this year I have set myself the challenge to keep up with the Bake Off. Every week I'm going to try to make each of the items the contestants have made. It will force me to learn some new baking skills, but I'm also using it as an opportunity to do something fun with B. 

First out of the oven is Mary Berry's Cherry Cake. It gave me the chance to use the bundt tin I got for Christmas. B loved making this cake - I got her to chop all the cherries herself, with a sharp(ish!) knife, and she did a surprisingly awesome job. I was so impressed. She helped to operate the electric mixer too, which heretofore she has been afraid of, and she did the decoration. M was meant to be having a nap, but wasn't interested, so we gave her a mixing bowl and a tiny wooden spoon, which kept her occupied for ages. 

For our first attempt, I think we did pretty well, though it was a little dry. Very tasty though. 

Next up are Swiss Roll and some individual cakes. 

This post is part of the Mamatography 2014 Project with Diary of a First Child and Momma Jorje.

We are taking (at least) a photo a day, a collage or a picture each week to keep a record of our year. Join us at any point during the year and start sharing your own daily photos!

Click Get the code here below to add the blog hop to your blog and join the fun. (Also sign up to be added to a comment group!)

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Mamatography 30 - Me and Mine: July

We went to a G themed fancy dress party and decided to go as Greek Gods. Here you see Athena, Nike, Dionysus and Artemis. It's amazing what you can achieve with some Ikea bedding and a handful of fake foliage!

This is us when we stopped for lunch on our way back from a wonderful week's holiday in North Wales. We had so much fun and took loads of photos, but I suddenly realised on our return journey that we hadn't taken a single one of the four of us together!

This month:

The hubby has enjoyed...

The hot weather and the sun

Getting a tan

Going on holiday

Spending the day at Gypsy Wood

Swimming in the sea

I've enjoyed...

Going on holiday and being cooked for by my mum and dad

Listening to B singing the Goat song from The Troll

Making our Greek gods costumes

Being able to put M down for some of her naps, which has allowed me to have some one to one time with B

Swimming in the sea

Spending time with my youngest brother

B has enjoyed...

Stacking cups

Playing Safari Bingo with her uncle

Hearing people tell stories of things that have happened to them

Listening to The Troll by Julia Donaldson

Meeting the Fairy Queen at Gypsy Wood

M has enjoyed...

Learning to sit up by herself

Singing

Watching videos of B

Pulling herself up to standing

Eating risotto

Kissing

This post is part of the Mamatography 2014 Project with Diary of a First Child and Momma Jorje.

We are taking (at least) a photo a day, a collage or a picture each week to keep a record of our year. Join us at any point during the year and start sharing your own daily photos!

Click Get the code here below to add the blog hop to your blog and join the fun. (Also sign up to be added to a comment group!)

Mamatography 27: Siblings - July

Just look at them! Constantly laughing and smiling at each other. It really is a joy to behold. B loves to entertain her little sister; M loves to watch her big sister. Everything B does makes M laugh hysterically. The frustration is starting to kick in for B, as M gets older and more sure of herself. When B cries about not getting her own way, M grins at her, thinking it's just another form of entertainment. Of course, B takes great offence at this: "It's not fair! M is smiling at me!" And now M is trying to move, she reaches for the toys she wants - generally the toys B is playing with. It's hard for B; she's been the only one playing with everything until now; sharing isn't an easy concept for her to understand - she's not yet three, after all. However, she is getting much better at finding toys for M to play with, and giving her something in exchange for the toy she wants to take back. And M is still young enough not to put up a fight. But, for both of them, if the other has it, it must be worth playing with.

The Crisis in Modern Parenting

This article has appeared several times on my Facebook newsfeed: http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/5552527

I don't like it. Firstly, I think it is very easy for a Nanny to make judgements, separated as she is from the all-encompassing love felt by a parent. Secondly, I believe it is the parenting style she - and other childless parenting "experts" - advocates that is causing the parenting crisis she speaks of. Before I had children, I was a teacher. In a secondary school. I came across hundreds of children each week. I had some pretty big views on how children should be brought up too. I watched Supernanny and nodded vehemently as she told the parents off and corrected the children. I ascribed to the idea of the naughty step and reward charts. As a teacher - like the Nanny who wrote the article - I felt qualified to hand out parenting advice. Hadn't I seen more children than any of these parents I had to speak to? 

But then I started to think about how these methods were implemented in the classroom. Detentions and credits were the norm. But they weren't helping difficult children in my classes to improve. Fear of punishment wasn't making them work harder; the offer of a reward wasn't helping to strive for better grades. Ironically, it was my lowest set who showed the most improvement and this was because I had to deal with them in a very different way. They needed tlc, having been told so often that they were not very good - behaviourally and academically. They needed to see the intrinsic benefits of learning. And many of them did eventually see that. There appeared a love of learning in that lesson, and a vast improvement in reading and writing levels. However, it wasn't until I got pregnant with B that I realised that my love for the Supernanny method was misplaced and that the "attachment" teaching that I had been doing with my bott set was a far better way. I maintain that the hardest children to teach are those who expect to be rewarded for doing well - they have no intrinsic desire to succeed, and instead a desire for increasing rewards. Where a credit had once been welcomed for an A grade, it was soon no longer enough. A credit became expected for completing work, then for listening quietly. Eventually there was no reward great enough. Pupils who need fear of punishment to work are almost equally difficult to teach. They don't have an intrinsic desire to learn either. Their desire is to avoid being sent out or put in detention. The punishments have to get bigger and bigger to have the same effect. And often the punishments meted out in school don't come anywhere near those received at home. 

Mamatography 26: Me and Mine - June

This post is part of a blog link up hosted by Lucy at Dear Beautiful Boy.

M's Baptism

An Evening at the Beach

B's Drawing of our Family

This month:

Low Supply

As you might have gathered if you've read some of my blog posts, I have IGT (insufficient glandular tissue), also known as mammary hypoplasia, which means I don't have enough breast tissue and so can't make enough milk for my babies. This puts me in the minority of women. However, the number of times I've heard people say they had to give up breastfeeding because they didn't make enough milk, you'd think that it was much more common.

Low supply isn't a myth, but true low supply is pretty rare. And low supply is no reason to give up breastfeeding either. 

First of all, let's discuss what low supply isn't. Frequent feeding is not a sign of low supply. Nor is frequent waking. Both of these are normal behaviours for newborns - frequent feeds are baby's way of building up your supply. And frequent wakings help to protect baby against SIDS. Babies' tummies are tiny and breastmilk is quickly digested, hence the need for frequent meals. And during growth spurts babies feed much more often to put in their orders for more milk. The 4 month sleep regression is often a time when women believe that their milk supply has dwindled, but it's just a huge growth spurt and totally normal. Feed feed feed. 

Check out this Kellymom link to find out a bit more about what isn't a sign of low supply.

Now, there are behaviours that can cause low supply:

Book Review - How you were born & You, me and the breast

Disclaimer: These books were gifted to me, free of charge, by Pinter & Martin, to be reviewed for the Keep Britain Breastfeeding Internet Scavenger Hunt. However, this review is my unbiased and honest opinion of the books.

How you were born and You, me and the breast are by Monica Calaf and Mikel Fuentes. They are part of a series of 4 books, which also contains Your daddy and me and When you were in my tummy.

How you were born recounts the birth process, as the mother speaking to her child, gently but vividly. The illustrations are beautiful, if a touch too realistic at times. You probably wouldn't want to let your toddler ask her great nan to read it, as there's a rather large illustration of the baby's head crowning! It's not graphic as such, but it's certainly obvious that you're looking at lady bits - not suitable for everyone's sensibilities. The birth story presented is what I would call the ideal - gentle, peaceful, calm, with the mother and baby being respected throughout. So, while it may not resemble the birth stories of many, it is perfect for telling a child how labour and birth happen without scaring them in any way. I love how contractions are referred to as waves, avoiding any suggestion that the mother is in pain. The father is involved in the story too, which B really likes, particularly seeing the tears of joy on the daddy's face after the baby is born. She also enjoys the inclusion of the midwife, because she remembers my midwife from when I was pregnant with M. That's the beauty of this book - it is relevant to her, because it tells her story, but also because it tells her the story of what we have been through recently with M.

B (2y10m) absolutely loves You, me and the breast. She has asked for it to be read to her several times a day since we received it, and is happy to sit and look through it by herself. Again, the illustrations are beautiful. The mum and baby the same as in How you were born, and it begins part way through that one, with the baby looking for mum's breast. As toddlers tend to do, she has fixated on one particular page - the child is being comforted by nursing after getting hurt. B obviously relates to this situation in particular, having had a few tumbles and scrapes recently, though the illustration has caused some confusion: she is convinced that the child fell off their bike because it got tangled up in the mum's hair!

Breastfeeding Through Pregnancy and Beyond

I've been breastfeeding for 2 years and almost 10 months now. For 7 of those months I've been a tandem feeder, and for the 9 months before that I was nursing through pregnancy, dealing with nursing aversion for about 5 of those.

Breastfeeding a newborn second time around has been so much easier. Getting M to latch properly was straightforward, and I was able to tell straight away that she must have tongue tie, as her latch was perfect but it still hurt. Breastfeeding through pregnancy was much more challenging. I'd worked so hard for our breastfeeding relationship and I had always wanted B to self wean. Friends with older children had told me about how being able to nurse the older child when the baby arrived had been really helpful in dealing with jealousy, so I really wanted B to continue to feed for as long as she needed. I was prepared for my milk to dry up during pregnancy - it never having been plentiful in the first place - and so I was also prepared for the possibility that B might wean. Ruth at Mixed Bag of All Sorts has had a similar breastfeeding journey to mine, but she was several months ahead of me. I drew great comfort and encouragement from her blog and her friendship, seeing that it was possible to maintain the breastfeeding relationship through pregnancy and into tandem nursing even with chronic low supply.

Breastmilk Donation, Use & Storage

I don't pump anymore, and I don't have any advice that I didn't already write about here, but I do have a little experience with breastmilk use and storage. We used formula to supplement B, but I was more prepared and clued up this time around, and I had also made a number of friends who were breastfeeding their babies, and so we were in the fortunate position to be able to source donor milk for M. We started to supplement her on day three and so for the first 11 days of her life she was exclusively breastmilk fed. After that we had to introduce some formula as our donors weren't able to keep up with M's growing needs. However, about 2.5 months ago we found a long term donor on HM4HB and since then every supplement feed M has had has been with expressed donor milk. It's had an amazing effect on her digestive system. She used to have trouble pooing and her wind was stinky!! But now she is so much happier - and her death pumps don't wake me up in the night!

So, here is my advice:

Nursing In Public: It's Not All Bad

I'll feed anytime, anywhere!

It seems that every week or so there is another story of a breastfeeding mother told to cover up or feed in a toilet, or asked to leave or called a slut or worse for breastfeeding in public. We can be forgiven for trepidation at feeding our babies/toddlers when out and about. But, in all honesty, I haven't had a single negative experience of breastfeeding in public. I haven't had any super positive, applause-all-around type experiences either. It has always been a very ordinary activity. No one seems to be bothered or even aware. No funny looks, no snide comments, no disgusted muttering. And isn't that how it's meant to be? Normal, ordinary, a fact of life.

The Importance of Breastfeeding Support

If it wasn't for the support I received from my mum, the hubby, my best friend, and the Infant Feeding Coordinator at the hospital, my breastfeeding journey with B would have been very different. But I also firmly believe that it is down to the official complaint that we made regarding our treatment by nurses and paediatricians at the hospital then, that our experience with M was quite different. The changes we said needed to be made had been put into place, and so we discovered that there was now an On-Call Infant Feeding Team; several people trained to identify and separate tongue-ties; and the Infant Feeding Coordinator was now responsible for providing breastfeeding training for paediatricians. 

The experience wasn't perfect. There were some new paediatricians who had managed to slip through the training net, informing me that I had to feed M for 10 minutes every 3 hours! I had the knowledge and confidence this time around to challenge them and point out that this went against their own infant feeding policy. But we were able to get the Infant Feeding Coordinator to see us very quickly, and she was brilliant. Overall, despite having to be in the hospital to deal with M's jaundice, we had a much more positive time than with B, and we were out much quicker too. 

Top Tips for Breastfeeding with a Supplemental Nursing System

Beware! If you read to the end, you will see my nipple!

A small percentage of mums find themselves unable to exclusively breastfeed their babies. I found myself in that small percentage almost three years ago now, when B was born. I have insufficient glandular tissue and so am unable to make enough milk to keep a baby alive. It was distressing to discover, but with support I was able to breastfeed alongside supplementing. After buying a Medela supplemental nursing system and failing to get on with it, due to lack of instructions in the box and none on the internet either, I was slightly relieved when the hubby accidentally melted it whilst sterilising. We ended up using bottles with B and I would pump after every top up feed. 

This time around, I was prepared for the perils of chronic low supply. There was a supply of donor milk in the freezer and two SNSes in the cupboard. I was determined to make it work this time, knowing that with a two year old to look after, I would have very little time for the pumping required after every bottle feed. 

Our first SNS feed

An SNS is basically a bottle with thin feeding tubes attached, one of which goes in the baby's mouth along with the breast, allowing whatever supplement you are using to be drunk whilst nursing. This ensures your breasts are being stimulated to produce and enables baby to get as much of your milk as possible whilst being supplemented. SNSes can be used to induce lactation, for relactation and for supplementing a low supply. 

It is a bit tricky at first, but because I was an experienced breastfeeder this time round, I found it much easier than with B. And we're still using it 7 months later. 

So now you've got past the lengthy intro, here are my top tips for breastfeeding with an SNS - tips I wish I'd found when B was a baby:

Why Breastfeeding is Good for Dads

As has become our tradition, here is the guest post from the Hubby. He is my biggest supporter, and a real breastfeeding advocate, always ready to spring to the defence of any woman given grief over breastfeeding. It can often be useful to have a dad's perspective, so this year he is writing about why having mum breastfeed the baby is a great choice for dads. 

You can find his previous Scavenger Hunt posts here: 

How Dads Can Support Breastfeeding 

Top Breastfeeding Tips for Dads
 

Hi all!

It's dad of two girls and husband to an amazing, breastfeeding lady, here.

This year my topic is benefits for dads during breastfeeding.

"How?" I maybe hear you say. How can there be benefits to dads during the mother breastfeeding the baby?

But there are!

Not all selfish benefits, like getting time to watch the rugby, but useful benefits in the new role as a dad.

So here we go, what are the benefits? Why IS breastfeeding good for dads?

Time to get brownie points by doing all those new jobs you have to do

Shopping, cleaning, hoovering, taking out the rubbish, a back rub? Even DIY?

When mum is feeding the baby, it may be a good idea for the dad to get up and do things.

No bloke likes to be sitting down being lazy (right, guys?). And just think of how happy you'll make your lady!

If mum is feeding your second baby, then you can.........

Mamatography 24 - Baptism

M was baptised on Sunday. It was a very special day and we were so moved by the number of friends and family who came to celebrate with us. After the baptism service we had afternoon tea at my parents-in-law's. I had been baking and preparing for weeks beforehand, and I was absolutely amazed at the fact that we had just the right amount of food. Everyone had plenty to eat and there was only a little leftover - about the amount that would have been eaten by the people who couldn't come due to illness! 

The priest read the following at the baptism service: 

A Father's Love

Today was Father's Day. But, more importantly, M was baptised today. She's very blessed to have such a great dad here on Earth. The hubby is fantastic with both of the girls, but no matter how hard he tries, he will never be perfect. He'll make mistakes, break promises, fail at times. But at the heart of our faith

Keep Britain Breastfeeding Internet Scavenger Hunt: 20th-26th June 2014

It's nearly that time again - The Keep Britain Breastfeeding Scavenger Hunt begins on 20th June.

There is still a lot of ignorance about breastfeeding, and in order for parents to make informed choices about how to feed their babies, they need accurate information. Each day of the week of the Scavenger Hunt will have a different theme upon which various bloggers will write. All the posts will be related to breastfeeding in some way, as the aim of the Hunt is to share knowledge and experiences with pregnant and breastfeeding women and their families.

There will also be loads of great prizes up for grabs - not all breastfeeding related, but still useful for parenting - and discounts for various companies too.

Check out www.keepbritainbreastfeeding.co.uk for more information and to register to enter the competition.

Click here to read my previous Keep Britain Breastfeeding posts.