The Shape of Me

It’s an interesting thing.

Interesting?

Not interesting.

I mean,

Sad.

To know that people look at you

And would rather be dead

Than look like you

Rather risk the damage

Internally

Than look like you 

And also to find 

It’s the people

You thought highly of

The people 

You thought loved and respected you

But not enough

Because they look at you

And see their nightmares

In your shape

And everyone around them

Congratulates

The success of looking 

Less and less

And less

Like you

Because when they are less

They are happy

But I am more

More free

More empowered 

More distanced from the patriarchy

From those who would reduce us,

To nothing

But people so focused

With whitewashing our tombs 

That we don’t see 

What’s going on around us

To have us disappear,

So desperate to be less,

That we won’t fight back

How sad to be afraid

Of fat

Because there are so many

Worse things

I could be

I could stop seeing Jesus 

In the faces of those I meet

Because I’m looking

At my own reflection

But I am more than fat

I am more than what you see

I am made in God’s image

I love and I am loved

For who I am

And because of who He is

And the more of me there is

The more there is 

Of me 

To love

©️Laura Moore 2025

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17 Weeks - A Bit of a Surprise

That's me - flying high

Sometimes, every once in a while, God answers a prayer that you hadn't even thought to pray.

I got a text last week from my old midwife, Mandy. Totally out of the blue. She was doing relief work for my midwife, and had spotted my name in the notes, so she wanted to congratulate me. It was the most thoughtful message - Mandy even remembered B & M's names. I was really touched by her consideration.

But, that wasn't it. When I responded that I missed her, and that I had been disappointed to discover she'd moved surgeries, she asked if I wanted her to be my midwife again!

I absolutely jumped at the chance.

It wasn't something I had even considered a possibility, other than by discovering which surgery she was based at and swapping my GP. I really didn't want to do that - our GP is great.

But God heard the silent cries of my heart.


Seriously, I have been walking on air since we made the new arrangements. I didn't have any major issues with Sharon, but the opportunity to have a midwife I know, and who knows me, is not one to be sniffed at. It will feel good to be comfortable.

Along with that, it's been a fairly good fortnight. I'm exhausted, and I got 4 consultant appointments - and a rescheduled Diabetes Clinic appointment - through the post, but I'm pretty confident that my sickness has gone. Lots of phone calls to cancel appointments.

Baby is the size of a chipmunk. Cute.

My appetite seems to have disappeared somewhat, though my research says that can be common during second trimester, as the digestive system slows down. I don't remember this being an issue during my previous pregnancies. Not during the second trimester anyway.

I've started testing my blood sugars, and so far, so good. The aim is to keep them between 4 and 6mmol/L an hour after starting to eat a meal. And 7.8mmol/L is the absolute maximum, though I set my own maximum of 7mmol/L in both previous pregnancies, and will continue to follow that. However, as none of my readings are yet to reach 5.5mmol/L, I'm fairly confident.

Lots of salad!

I often find meal planning quite hard - and that has been the case when I'm not pregnant too - so I intend to keep a record of meals we've had and enjoyed, and I will write a post on these in the future. Inspiration can be hard to find, especially when you've got dietary requirements.

I'm hoping to start feeling the baby move soon. I felt B at just past 18 weeks, and M at 17+1.  I still feel doubtful that I'm as far along as the scan put me, so to feel movement this week would be reassuring. I had anterior placentas with the others, but no mention of that this time, which makes me think I should have felt the baby already. But, as we know, all pregnancies are different.

Weekly Statistics

Average blood sugar: 4.9mmol/L

Weight: -2lb



Catch Up: 15 Weeks
Next: 18 Weeks 

A Father's Love

Today was Father's Day. But, more importantly, M was baptised today. She's very blessed to have such a great dad here on Earth. The hubby is fantastic with both of the girls, but no matter how hard he tries, he will never be perfect. He'll make mistakes, break promises, fail at times. But at the heart of our faith

Bible in a Year - Day 274

Day 268 - Isaiah 1, 2 & 3; Galatians 2
‘Come now, let us settle the matter,’
    says the Lord.
‘Though your sins are like scarlet,
    they shall be as white as snow;
though they are red as crimson,    
 they shall be like wool.' (Isaiah 1:18)
He will judge between the nations
    and will settle disputes for many peoples.
They will beat their swords into ploughshares
    and their spears into pruning hooks.
Nation will not take up sword against nation,    
 nor will they train for war any more. (Isaiah 2:4)
I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. (Galatians 2:20)
  

Bible in a Year - Day 267

Day 261 - Ecclesiastes 1, 2 & 3; 2 Corinthians 9
He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. (Ecclesiastes 3:11)
And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. (2 Corinthians 9:8)
Now he who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will also supply and increase your store of seed and will enlarge the harvest of your righteousness. You will be enriched in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God. (2 Corinthians 10-11)
  

Day 262 - Ecclesiastes 4, 5 & 6; 2 Corinthians 10


Day 263 - Ecclesiastes 7, 8 & 9; 2 Corinthians 11:1-15


Day 264 - Ecclesiastes 10, 11 & 12; 2 Corinthians 11:16-33


Day 265 - Song of Songs 1, 2 & 3; 2 Corinthians 12
But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. (2 Corinthians 12:9)


Day 266 - Song of Songs 4 & 5; 2 Corinthians 13
Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice! Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you. (2 Corinthians 13:11)

Day 267 - Song of Songs 6, 7 & 8; Galatians 1 
Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ, who gave himself for our sins to rescue us from the present evil age, according to the will of our God and Father... (Galatians 1:3-4)

Bible in a Year - Day 260

Day 260 - Proverbs 30 & 31; 2 Corinthians 8
Every word of God is flawless;    he is a shield to those who take refuge in him. (Proverbs 30:5)
For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sake he became poor, so that you through his poverty might become rich. (2 Corinthians 8:9)

Bible in a Year - Day 245

Day 239 - Psalm 128, 129, 130 & 131; 1 Corinthians 7:25-40
But the Lord is righteous;    he has cut me free from the cords of the wicked. (Psalm 129:4)
But with you there is forgiveness,    so that we can, with reverence, serve you. (Psalm 130:4)
Israel, put your hope in the Lord,
    for with the Lord is unfailing love
    and with him is full redemption. 
He himself will redeem Israel    from all their sins. (Psalm 130:7-8)

Bible in a Year - Day 238

Day 232 - Psalm 112, 113, 114 & 115; 1 Corinthians 1
He raises the poor from the dust
    and lifts the needy from the ash heap;
he seats them with princes,
    with the princes of his people. 
He settles the childless woman in her home     
as a happy mother of children. (Psalm 113:7-9)

Day 233 - Psalm 116, 117 & 118; 1 Corinthians 2
I love the Lord, for he heard my voice;
    he heard my cry for mercy. 
Because he turned his ear to me,    I will call on him as long as I live. (Psalm 116:1-2)
The Lord is gracious and righteous;
    our God is full of compassion.
 The Lord protects the unwary;    when I was brought low, he saved me. (Psalm 116:5-6)
For great is his love toward us,    and the faithfulness of the Lord endures forever. (Psalm 117:2)
When hard pressed, I cried to the Lord;
    he brought me into a spacious place. 
The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid.
    What can human beings do to me? 
The Lord is with me; he is my helper.    I look in triumph on my enemies. (Psalm 118:5-7)

Day 234 - Psalm 119:1-48; 1 Corinthians 3
I run in the path of your commands,    for you have set my heart free. (Psalm 119:32)

Day 235 - Psalm 119:49-104; 1 Corinthians 4
Your hands made me and formed me;    
give me understanding to learn your commands. (Psalm 119:73)
Your faithfulness continues through all generations;
    you established the earth, and it endures. (Psalm 119:90) 

Day 236 - Psalm 119:105-176; 1 Corinthians 5
You are my refuge and my shield;    I have put my hope in your word. (Psalm 119:114)
You are righteous, Lord,    and your laws are right. (Psalm 119:137)
Yet you are near, Lord,    and all your commands are true. (Psalm 119:151)
Your compassion, Lord, is great;    preserve my life according to your laws. (Psalm 119:156)

Day 237 - Psalm 120, 121, 122 & 123; 1 Corinthians 6
I call on the Lord in my distress,
    and he answers me. (Psalm 120:1)
I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
    where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
    the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip—
    he who watches over you will not slumber;

indeed, he who watches over Israel
    will neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord watches over you—
    the Lord is your shade at your right hand;

the sun will not harm you by day,
    nor the moon by night.

The Lord will keep you from all harm—
    he will watch over your life;

the Lord will watch over your coming and going
    both now and forevermore. (Psalm 121)

Day 238 - Psalm 124, 125, 126 & 127; 1 Corinthians 7:1-24

The Lord has done great things for us,    and we are filled with joy. (Psalm 126:3)

Children are a heritage from the Lord,    offspring a reward from him. (Psalm 127:3)

  

  
     

Bible in a Year - Day 231

Day 225 - Psalm 93, 94 & 95; Romans 11:22-36
For the Lord will not reject his people;     
he will never forsake his inheritance. (Psalm 94:14)
When I said, “My foot is slipping,”
    your unfailing love, Lord, supported me. 
When anxiety was great within me,     
your consolation brought me joy. (Psalm 94:18-19)
  
Day 226 - Psalm 96, 97 & 98; Romans 12
The Lord has made his salvation known     
and revealed his righteousness to the nations. (Psalm 98:2)
He will judge the world in righteousness    
 and the peoples with equity. (Psalm 98:9)

Day 227 - Psalm 99, 100, 101 & 102; Romans 13
The King is mighty, he loves justice. (Psalm 99:4) 
Lord our God,
    you answered them;
you were to Israel a forgiving God,     
though you punished their misdeeds. (Psalm 99:8)

Bible in a Year - Day 224

Returning to the Bible in a Year after a break for December's Jesse Tree and Christmas celebrations.

Day 218 - Psalm 75, 76 & 77; Romans 6
With your mighty arm you redeemed your people,
the descendants of Jacob and Joseph. (Psalm 77:15)
Your path led through the sea,
    your way through the mighty waters,
    though your footprints were not seen.

You led your people like a flock    by the hand of Moses and Aaron. (Psalm 77:19-20)

If we have been united with him in a death like his, we will certainly also be united with him in a resurrection like his. For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body ruled by sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin— because anyone who has died has been set free from sin. (Romans 6:5-7)
For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 6:23)

Bible in a Year - Day 217

Day 214 - Psalm 65, 66 & 67; Romans 2
You who answer prayer,
    to you all people will come.
When we were overwhelmed by sins,    you forgave our transgressions. (Psalm 65:2-3)
You answer us with awesome and righteous deeds,
    God our Savior,
the hope of all the ends of the earth    and of the farthest seas... (Psalm 65:5)
You care for the land and water it;
    you enrich it abundantly.
The streams of God are filled with water
    to provide the people with grain, 
 for so you have ordained it. (Psalm 65:9)
He turned the sea into dry land,
    they passed through the waters on foot—    come, let us rejoice in him. (Psalm 66:6) 

Bible in a Year - Day 213

Day 207 - Psalm 44, 45 & 46; Acts 25
It was not by their sword that they won the land,
    nor did their arm bring them victory;
it was your right hand, your arm,    
 and the light of your face, for you loved them. (Psalm 44:3)
God is our refuge and strength,     
an ever-present help in trouble. (Psalm 46:1)

Bible in a Year - Day 206

Day 200 - Psalm 25, 26 & 27; Acts 20:17-38
He guides the humble in what is right    
 and teaches them his way. (Psalm 25:9)
The Lord is my light and my salvation –
    whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life –    
 of whom shall I be afraid? (Psalm 27:1) 
For in the day of trouble
    he will keep me safe in his dwelling;
he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent     
and set me high upon a rock. (Psalm 27:5)
Though my father and mother forsake me,     
the Lord will receive me. (Psalm 27:10) 

Bible in a Year - Day 199

Day 193 - Psalm 4, 5 & 6; Acts 16:16-40
In peace I will lie down and sleep,
    for you alone, Lord,
    make me dwell in safety. (Psalm 4:8)
But I, by your great love,
    can come into your house;
in reverence I bow down    towards your holy temple. (Psalm 5:7)
 Turn, Lord, and deliver me;    save me because of your unfailing love. (Psalm 6:4)
The Lord has heard my cry for mercy;    the Lord accepts my prayer. (Psalm 6:9)
...he was filled with joy because he had come to believe in God – he and his whole household. (Acts 16:34) 

Bible in a Year - Day 192

Day 186 - Job 29 & 30; Acts 12
Suddenly an angel of the Lord appeared and a light shone in the cell. He struck Peter on the side and woke him up. “Quick, get up!” he said, and the chains fell off Peter’s wrists. (Acts 12:7)
Then Peter came to himself and said, “Now I know without a doubt that the Lord has sent his angel and rescued me from Herod’s clutches and from everything the Jewish people were hoping would happen.” (Acts 12:11)

Bible in a Year - Day 185

Day 179 - Job 10, 11 & 12; Acts 8:1-25
You gave me life and showed me kindness,and in your providence watched over my spirit. (Job 10:12)
In his hand is the life of every creature
and the breath of every human being. (Job 12:10)

Bible in a Year - Day 178

Day 172 - Nehemiah 12 & 13; Acts 4:23-37
With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus. And God’s grace was so powerfully at work in them all that there was no needy person among them. For from time to time those who owned land or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales and put it at the apostles’ feet, and it was distributed to anyone who had need. (Acts 4:33-35)

Bible in a Year - Day 171

Day 165 - Ezra 3, 4 & 5; John 20
Again Jesus said, ‘Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you.’ And with that he breathed on them and said, ‘Receive the Holy Spirit. (John 20:21-22) 


Day 166 - Ezra 6, 7 & 8; John 21
On the twelfth day of the first month we set out from the Ahava Canal to go to Jerusalem. The hand of our God was on us, and he protected us from enemies and bandits along the way. (Ezra 8:31)
When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, ‘Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?’
‘Yes, Lord,’ he said, ‘you know that I love you.’
Jesus said, ‘Feed my lambs.’
Again Jesus said, ‘Simon son of John, do you love me?’
He answered, ‘Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.’
Jesus said, ‘Take care of my sheep.’
The third time he said to him, ‘Simon son of John, do you love me?’
Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, ‘Do you love me?’ He said, ‘Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.’
Jesus said, ‘Feed my sheep. (John 21:15-17)