Top Breastfeeding Tips For Dads: Keep Britain Breastfeeding 2013

Today, a guest post from my husband, Chris, who is my biggest breastfeeding supporter! He wrote a post for the Scavenger Hunt last year too, which you can find here.

When our first daughter was born, we discovered things weren't quite right in the feeding department.

B's weight dropped quite a bit in the first few days and we were checked into the hospital as her sodium levels were low.

After 4 days of wasted time, we got discharged and B was diagnosed with tongue tie (http://milkmatters.org.uk/2011/04/15/hidden-cause-of-feeding-problems-however-you-feed-your-baby/) and had it snipped.

We also discovered that my wife had IGT (insufficient glandular tissue) which meant that she couldn't produce enough milk.

So, we had to supplement with formula milk.

In summary, I've experienced breast feeding and formula feeding; both the positives and the negatives.

So, because of my experience, here are some top tips and some how-tos that I wish I had known before I started my journey into the world of infant feeding...

1. Get tooled up

- Do some research, become a semi-pro in infant breastfeeding. This goes down very well with your lady, as well as reducing any confusion you may have when baby comes.

- Get the support numbers. Getting help and also encouragement can be extremely helpful. We had one rather tough night, that we only got through because we rang the helpline 3 times, just to make sure we were doing the right thing.

 - Get a breastfeeding pillow - this can really help during the learning stages, and it helps your lady know that you're on board with the feeding ;-) Man points!

- Also, do discuss feeding before the baby comes rather than waiting till they've arrived. Avoid bad timing.

2. Be careful of your manly instinct

I found myself asking my wife a lot of probing questions whenever I thought that breastfeeding wasn't working.

I call this section manly instinct because I found myself, and have seen a lot of other mates in the same position, wanting to make sure that our babies are being fed well and are putting on weight. The perception being that breastfeeding is not working. So...

B was very happy to sleep on my chest.

- If you find yourself thinking that breastfeeding is not working and you want to ask your partner a question, do some research or call the support number to get some insight and advice. Things like weight dropping and cluster feeding are totally normal, but at first glance seems like things aren't right, so check out some info.

- Get into a breast feeding support group on Facebook, lots of people with a variety of experience can both help you and encourage you.

- This is a great link that I came across in the early days, helping you know what to expect regarding normal newborn behaviour 

(http://theleakyboob.com/2011/08/baby-explains-normal-newborn-behavior/)

3. History lesson of feeding

Breastfeeding has been around for centuries. Formula, as we know it, and the aggressive marketing of it have only been around in recent times.

- Breastfeeding is normal. Formula feeding is not. (Obviously it's an acceptable replacement only in extreme circumstances, if donor breastmilk isn't available.)

4. The cave

We are the hunter gatherers...

- make sure there are snacks for mum. Breastfeeding can use up to 500 calories per day so you want to keep your lady well fuelled.

- there are some food stuffs that can help encourage milk production. Have a Google for galactagogues for recipes and ingredients. Oats, cookies, fennel, there are loads out there.

5. Bonding with your baby

We all want to bond with the baby.

Co-sleeping is a great way to bond.

I found in the beginning that because mum was breastfeeding the baby a lot of the time, I was feeling a little left out.

Then thoughts started to come into my head. "I could bottle feed the baby during the night! Let mum get some sleep, and I can bond with the baby!"

After a lot of thought and discussion, I found that my thoughts were not only stupid, but also counter-productive to everyone, including my will to bond, for the following reasons:

- The baby is going to be half asleep any ways, how is the baby going to bond with me?

- Mum is going to be awake anyway. They are built this way during motherhood.

Daddies can do skin-to-skin too.

- You can bond during the day when the baby is awake. How can you do it during the day when you're tired because you've been feeding them in the night?!

- The baby knows who you are. It's been listening to your voice for 9 months!

- The benefits of baby breastfeeding during the night (ideally in bed with mumma in a cot by the side of the bed) is massive!

- Your baby will notice you as a hunter gatherer, providing for both them and mumma in getting food, cleaning the house, etc...

6. Take defensive action!

The mothers right to breastfeed when out and about is defined by international law. They are allowed to do it.

Daddy Lion protecting his pride!

The World Health Organisation (WHO) also recommend that women breastfeed their children up to 2 years and beyond (they'll be starting of foods before that time so they won't be only on the breast by year 2).

I and other men in my position have had experiences where mumma has been challenged by members of the public, and in some cases, staff at local establishments, requesting they either stop breastfeeding or go into the toilets to do it.

So...

- Women can breast feed wherever they want, and the law protects them in this way. Tell the challengers this fact, if they continue, call the police as they are harassing you.

- If someone suggests your lady goes and breastfeeds in the toilet, ask them whether they would eat their lunch in the toilet. You can bet the answer will be no.

I mentioned the WHO's recommendation because some people for some reason find it weird if mothers are breastfeeding beyond 2 months. Again, this is not weird, it is normal.

I've seen a lot of experiences, myself included, that have seen friends and family members using phrases such as...

"When are you going to wean them?" (around month 3)

"Breast feeding is weird!" (around month 2)

"Give that baby a bottle!" (around week 4)

Another co-sleeping photo, just because it's so great.

Statements such as these can really discourage your lady when they are trying to breastfeed at do what's right for baby.

Be mindful of family opinion. Not just from the mothers side but also from your side.

I would recommend talking to your parents about feeding before hand, to make sure they understand what your decision is regarding feeding. It's your baby, not theirs. You want to try and avoid a mumma vs. the in-laws, type incident. If people make these statements when in with mum, tell them politely but firmly, what you're doing and why. Have responses ready. Not only will you help encourage your lady, but also maybe encourage your friends to breastfeed. Stick to your guns!

7. No more hassle!

As someone who has both had to be part of a dual breast-milk/formula feeding regimen, I've got some advice for those who are thinking of exclusively or combination formula feeding and using bottles...

Bond through bathtime.

It's such a pain in the arse! Cleaning, sterilising, boiling, scooping, shaking, cooling, feeding! This daily routine is such a drag when in a breastfeeding world, this hassle just doesn't exist. If I'd had the choice, I wouldn't have done this, and would have saved me and hour and a half every day! Also, it takes a while for a bottle to cool 
down. Why should a baby have to wait for milk?

8. Support, support, SUPPORT!!

In words and in actions, support your lady!

Establishing breastfeeding is bloody hard, which I didn't quite appreciate at first. I can't believe my wife didn't kill me after my inadvertent attempts to discourage her. 

With all that's mentioned above, your support will help guarentee successful breastfeeding. Making your lady feel that you're on her side will help in itself massively.

My inability to breastfeed B didn't affect our bond.

Check out some other Keep Britain Breastfeeding Bloggers:
Life, Love and Living with Boys - Wife and Mummy to two cheeky boys under four.  Filling my 'spare' time with blogging and volunteering as a Breastfeeding Peer Supporter.  Breastfeeding was cut shorter than I'd hoped first time round so this is my inspiration for supporting other Mums and helping them avoid the 'Booby Traps'.  This time round I made sure that I was well informed and still happily breastfeeding my youngest who turned two in April.

Mama Geek - The tale of a late 20's geek as I stumble through the weird and wonderful world of motherhood!  I have two little girls called Georgie and Lydia, a fab husband called James and an adorable dog called Homily.  Stick around to share our journey :-)
Simply Hayley -  I'm Hayley, I'm a twenty something young single Mum to two stunning boys, 20 months and 6 years.  We live in West London/North Surrey.

Seven Year Hitch -  From freelance journalist and content provider to mum and creative writer.

Mummies Waiting - my blog about our journey through pregnancy, birth and parenting life.  I post weekly updates about Kairi's (my baby's) life.

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