On the Eleventh Day of Parenting - 12 Ways Parents Can Relax This Season

Hello and thank you for hopping over from The Newby Tribe and welcome to the 11th day of #12DaysOfParenting. Today's sponsor is Plyt who are offering a Plyt Board Game and the theme is 12 Ways Parents Can Relax This Season. My keyword to enter today’s giveaway is in this post below, good luck! Full details of the #12DaysOfParenting terms and conditions can be found on the #12DaysOfParenting page and all entries are to be completed via the Rafflecopter at the bottom of this post.

Parenting is can be stressful. Christmas is stressful. Put the two together and it's a recipe for a full on grown up meltdown.

I'm not very good at relaxing. There is always something to do, and if I stop, it's probably because I've fallen asleep. So it's not really hypocritical of me to try to tell you how to relax - I'm talking to myself as well!

I asked my best friends and the Hubby to help me with this post. I'm in too deep to see the way out of this stress hole my children have dug me into. The perspective my friends gave me was sorely needed.

So, without further ado, here are our 12 relaxing ideas for parents at Christmas:

On the Eighth Day of Parenting - Our Favourite Christmas Books

Hello and thank you for hopping over from Me and B Make Tea and welcome to the 8th day of #12DaysOfParenting. Today's sponsor is Learning Resources who are offering an 8 pack set of playfoam and the theme is Blogger's Choice. My keyword to enter today’s giveaway is in this post below, good luck! Full details of the #12DaysOfParenting terms and conditions can be found on the #12DaysOfParenting page and all entries are to be completed via the Rafflecopter at the bottom of this post.


I mentioned the other day that we have a Christmas bookshelf, and we add books every year. I'm often on the lookout for new and interesting Christmas books, so I thought a few suggestions from us might help others.

A enjoying his favourite Christmas book

I fully intended to separate our favourite Christmas books into age groups, but when I asked the girls which of our Christmas books they like the most, they picked the same three each!

Santa's Christmas Handbook by Chris Edge (aka Santa's Elves...)

Full of interesting tidbits
and fabulous illustrations

This is a brilliant book. Santa's Elves have written this guide to ensure Santa knows what to do in any situation. With plenty of flaps to peek under on every page; facts and tips for children to remember; and even Santa's Insta-Chimney, it's a book that keeps everyone entertained for ages. B is 6 and M is 4, and they both find plenty to look at in here. B is happy to read it aloud to her sister, and there are so many great illustrations, that M can spend plenty of time perusing it by herself. Santa's Christmas Handbook is the sort of book that doesn't need to be read from cover to cover, and I'm pretty sure that I've still not seen every page. Definitely worth getting for the laughs and the magic. There's even a board game to play at the end!


Angela and the Baby Jesus by Frank McCourt
We've read this book for the first time this year and already it has become much loved. Angela - of Angela's Ashes, but when she was a child - is concerned that the Baby Jesus in the church's crib scene will get cold at night, and so she comes up with a plan to take him home and keep him warm. It's a beautiful story about a little girl's reverence for the Holy Child, and I love her determination to do what she believes is right, regardless of what might happen to her. There is humour here too, especially both B and M's favourite part - when the Baby Jesus flies through the air! Loren Long's illustrations are soft and add to the innocence of the tale. I was so glad that the girls picked Angela and the Baby Jesus as one of their favourites, because it's one of mine too. I would suggest this is for a confident reader, but easily enjoyed by younger children when read aloud.

The Nativity by Fiona Watt & Rachel Wells 

Great for under 2s

This Usborne Touchy-Feely board book was the first Christmas book we bought for B. It has stood the test of time, and is still enjoyed six years later. A really enjoys this book. As with all Usborne Touchy-Feely books, there are plenty of different textures to explore on each page - even on the front cover. A particularly likes all the fluffy sheep, and M likes to point out the hiding mouse in every picture. The story of the Nativity is told very simply, from Mary and Joseph's journey to Bethlehem through to the arrival of the Wise Men. Simple language means it's good for younger readers - and the sentences are short enough that you can read them out before impatient toddlers turn the pages.


 Jesus' Christmas Party by Nicholas Allan

Our absolute favourite

A firm favourite with the whole family. Even A, who's almost 14 months, enjoys Jesus' Christmas Party. It's funny and sweet, and has a refrain that is easily remembered and shouted out by those being read to. The use of simple language means it's great for younger readers, and the illustrations are fun, adding to the humour in the story. I don't want to ruin the story - though you can probably guess it! - so all you need to know is that it's about an Innkeeper who really enjoys sleeping, and doesn't deal so well with his disturbed night. If you only ever buy one Christmas book, this should be it.




Does your family have a favourite Christmas book?

Today’s Codeword is: RUDOLPH

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On the Seventh Day of Parenting - Mini Gifts Made Simple

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This year the children and I have been making fudge to give as mini gifts to friends and family, and also to have on hand in case of visitors with unexpected presents!

It's hugely simple - I can't even remember where I found the basic recipe, but it's used a lot on this Fudge group on Facebook. We use the basic recipe and then mix it up a bit with different additions and flavours.

Basic Fudge Recipe
Ingredients:

Pop your ingredients in the slow cooker

2 x cans Condensed Milk - I buy mine from Lidl, because it's cheaper and not made by Nestlé!
800g Chocolate - the cheaper the better

On the Sixth Day of Parenting - Family Traditions Sorted

Hello and thank you for hopping over from BumpsBabies Tots and Teens Mummy Diaries and welcome to the 6th day of #12DaysOfParenting. Today's sponsor is Science4You who are offering a Sweet Factory and the theme is Family Traditions Sorted. My keyword to enter today’s giveaway is in this post below, good luck! Full details of the #12DaysOfParenting terms and conditions can be found on the #12DaysOfParenting page and all entries are to be completed via the Rafflecopter at the bottom of this post.

Oh, I love Christmas!

I love how steeped it is in history and tradition. How we do the same things each year; the same things that have been done for decades, centuries.

Sometimes even longer.

We sing songs that our grandparents sang, and their grandparents before them. Foods are flavoured with the same spices our ancestors used at Christmas. At church we speak the same words and say the same prayers that have been said for generations.

And I love how you can look through the windows of all the houses on your street and see a Christmas tree, lit with fairy lights and topped with an angel or a star.

Christmas is a time when we have so much in common.

So what a shock it is to discover that other people also have different traditions to us. We marry into families who have vastly different Christmas days to us and it can be overwhelmingly surprising. For some it becomes a real sticking point.

On the Fourth Day of Parenting - Christmas Dinner De-Stressed

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This year we are having our first Christmas at home with no extended family.

I am so excited to be fully in charge this year!

I’ve made Christmas Dinner many times, but this will be the first year that I am responsible for cooking whilst only having one other adult around to supervise children. So I’ve been getting organised.

With a decent pla, you can't go far wrong

My biggest tip is to make a cooking plan, with all the timings for everything written down. This has saved me many a time. One day I’ll save it somewhere or print and laminate, but today is not that day! Scribbled down in pencil on a piece of paper will have to suffice.

On the Third Day of Parenting - Keeping the Family Occupied

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Even in the years when I’ve been super organised at Christmas, there have still been plenty of last minute things to do. Jobs that are just easier without children underfoot. So a few activities here and there to keep the family out of my way and out of trouble have come in very useful.

I’m not going to lie - I love a simple, no fuss activity that requires little planning or effort on my part and yet delivers

Crafts

A pile of pine cones and some glitter glue make an easy craft that needs very little supervision. And with a piece ribbon attached to the top you have some lovely decorations to send to grandparents!

In the past I have found a few cheap Christmas craft sets at Hobbycraft, Wilkinson’s, etc. These provide a good half an hour - usually - of space for me to potter and get things done. Even when requiring some help or supervision, I find I can do small tasks at the same time.

On the Second Day of Parenting - The Perfect Family Gift Guide

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If you’re anything like me, you’re filled with a mild sense of dread when Christmas approaches. 

Oh, the excitement, the lights, the glitter, the food all serve to cover it up, but you know, deep down, that Christmas means clutter. 

So many presents!

So many toys that you will be responsible for finding a home for. Toys that need batteries. Toys that have tiny pieces for the baby to consume. Toys that are too big for your lounge. 

I’m sure you’ve all heard of the ‘Something you want, something you need, something to wear and something to read’ idea for gift giving. We subscribed to that for a while, but I found it quite restricting. 

I like the idea of having lots of presents to open, even though I hate having to find homes for everything. I don’t mean spending great amounts of money though. 

When I was a child our Christmas sacks were filled with gifts. My mum and dad would wrap up component parts separately, and give us lots of books from charity shops. It was exciting to see the gifts piling up as we opened them one by one around the room. Present unwrapping took a long time in our house - 4 children and 2 parents opening a present at a time and waiting for the turn to come back around the circle to you was fun, and helped with instilling patience and gratitude. 

Most of our presents would be a surprise, with only one or two being what we’d asked Father Christmas for, and yet none of them were disappointing, because there were so many and they each had thought put into them. 

I have been forced to come up with a system for gift giving that both allows for lots of presents - both fun and useful -whilst still preventing the overwhelming clutter. 

So I offer to you my Perfect Family Gift Guide, in the hope that it might save your sanity:

Something to Eat

Something to Grow 

Something to Read

Somewhere to Go

Something you Want 

Something to Wear

Something to Do 

Something to Share

Eat

Not me!

Ah, food! The perfect consumable gift. My kids usually ask for a chocolate Santa, though this year they’re upgrading to a Chocolate Orange, apparently. 

Once B asked for olives, and last M wanted fish fingers. They were both granted their Christmas wishes!

It’s a great opportunity to gift a food that isn’t normally found in your home, or to make use of a seasonal treat that you would be buying anyway. I love a gift that serves two purposes!

Grow

What better gift to give at Christmas than the gift of new life! Christmas comes at the time of year when the light begins to return and we look ahead to Spring. 

The Gift of Hope

Packets of seeds are full of hope, and once they’re sprinkled, you get to watch them grow outside. No clutter in your house; a gift that’s also for the bees; and an opportunity for the whole family to take some responsibility for life and beauty. 

Read

It's not a gift without a book!

As a once - and future - avid reader (I barely find the time these days!) who is on a mission to ensure the family grow up loving books, I view every gift giving as an opportunity to provide more reading matter. There should always be books! Yes, we’re beginning to run out of bookshelf space, but that’s a wonderful problem to have. And I don’t consider books to be clutter! Everyone in the family gets at least one new book at Christmas. There will be a new Christmas book each for the children; a fiction book or two; and some non-fiction to top up our Finding Out Shelves with whatever topic they’re currently interested in. The Hubby will get a book, regardless of the fact that he never finds time to read either. And I insist on books being in my gift pile, so that I’ve got something to look forward to when the children leave home!

Go

We love family days out. It’s so important to find time to spend together, and I look forward to being able to get out with another adult in the mix. We have various places that we mention throughout the year and I pop them down on a list of places we’d like to go. Then a little homemade voucher or some prebooked tickets to one or more of the venues makes its way into Father Christmas’s delivery. Even better, a year’s membership to National Trust or English Heritage provides places to go for the whole year ahead. Museums, train rides, zoos, exciting play areas, castles - whatever we choose, the real gift is the chance to get out of the house and spend quality time with each other. And the bonus: if we’re out of the house, we can’t make it even more untidy!

Want

Let’s face it - we can’t avoid this category, even in the pursuit of a clutter free home. It’s Christmas and there would be nothing worse than seeing the faces of family members who have been given only useful gifts and nothing that they actually asked Father Christmas for. This is the very reason we do a pre-Christmas clear out to make sure there are homes for new gifts. And when the rest of the gifts are useful and/or clutter free, then giving something that I wouldn’t necessarily choose myself isn’t such a chore after all. The big smiles and ‘thank yous’ on Christmas Day are the real gift here. 

Wear

Children ALWAYS need clothes

Children grow like weeds. Clothing is one of those things that we can’t avoid providing. So something to wear is another useful and clutter free gift. We use it as an opportunity to provide a new party outfit that can be worn on Christmas Day, as well as new vests or socks. The Hubby likes getting new socks every year. I request jewellery or clothes vouchers, personally. Knowing how difficult I find it to buy for myself, I wouldn’t expect anyone else to be able to do it for me. We also get the kids’ feet measured a week or so before Christmas in the hopes that new shoes can be delivered by Father Christmas. A is on the brink of walking, so he’ll definitely be getting some. 

Do

Baking together is the gift of time

I’m always on the hunt for activities to keep the children occupied and learning. Craft sets come in handy, especially through the cold and dark of January. Sticker and colouring books are always well received. Baking ingredients are perfect for covering the Eat and Share categories too, providing an activity that is both consumable and an opportunity to spend one on one time with a parent. Experience gifts are fun too - in the past we’ve given a Fairy photo shoot to the girls and tickets for us all to see a play or go to the cinema. Something to Do doesn’t usually need to find a home for long, if at all, fulfilling my love of clutter free. 

Share

Board Games are great for sharing

In recent years I’ve started to give sharing gifts to the children. One present between two of three reduces the number of gifts and gives opportunities for cooperation. It’s not always easy, especially when the age gap is wide, but it is possible to find gifts to suit a range of ages at once. This year they’re getting a Grimm’s Rainbow, which I am assured is perfect for kids of all ages. When writing letters to Father Christmas, the girls have asked for board games, DVDs and gingerbread men to share with the family. I like that this gets them thinking about what other people might like, rather than just about their own demands. 

In changing up our Family Gift List, I’m hoping to see less clutter, more generosity, and a lot more time together as a family. 

What is on your perfect family gift list?

Today’s Codeword is: FRANKINCENSE

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Father Christmas's First Real Visit

Thanks for hopping over from Cookies & Cwtches and welcome to my post for the twelfth - and final - day of #12daysofparenting.

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This year B is incredibly excited about Father Christmas, and her excitement is rubbing off on M who keeps telling us, "Santa Clause is comin' a-town!" Last Christmas was the first year B understood and got excited about Father Christmas. She told me she wanted to leave Father Christmas some milk to drink with his mince pie; and she remembered that we had found out at a friend's party that reindeer like to eat mushrooms, so we duly placed a mushroom out too.

It turns out, reindeer like mushrooms.

But it was that Christmas morning that will be in my memory forever. When she woke up, B was only interested in checking Father Christmas's tray. She didn't ask about her stocking; she didn't look to see if there were presents by the tree; she ran to the tray and, with a look of pure delight, declared, "Father Christmas left me a bit of his mince pie!"

Christmas Necessities

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A lot of bread sauce for the two of us on our honeymoon!

I love Christmas, but there are a few things that I absolutely need if Christmas is going to be just right. These are the things that come out year after year, or that live permanently on my Christmas shopping list, so that I can't forget them.

First off, Christmas just isn't Christmas for me if I can't have Bread Sauce with my Christmas Dinner, and enough of it to have leftovers to add to Boxing Day sandwiches, or just eat out of the bowl with a spoon. And it has to be proper bread sauce; none of this packet nonsense. I usually find that people who say they don't like bread sauce have never tried the real, homemade stuff. If that's you, then now's your year, folks. I use Delia's Traditional Bread Sauce recipe. It's simple and delicious, and I pretty much know it off by heart now.

Kids Don't Stop at Christmas

The cattle are lowing, the baby awakes

But little Lord Jesus, no crying he makes...

Nappies still need changing.

I greatly doubt it. Jesus was a human baby - he'd have cried at some point. Just like ordinary babies. Because babies don't know that one day is different to any other day. They continue living to their own rhythm. They still need feeding and winding and changing, with very little regard for our desire to cook an over the top lunch, or watch the Queen's speech, or have a lovely afternoon nap.

A young baby, however - unlike a boisterous toddler - can be happily accommodated at some Christmas activities. We took B to a candlelit carol service at 4 months old. She gurgled quietly, fed noisily, and slept happily through the rest. Unlike the lady behind us who loudly rustled her sweet wrappers during every quiet bit.

Obligatory Christmas Pics

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Christmas Cooking with the Kids

Yeah! Biscuit Art!

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I'll make Christmas cookies with the girls, I thought. That'll be a wonderfully relaxing time for us all.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

That's me laughing hysterically, by the way.

Various events conspired against me, and we didn't end up getting started until nearly 4 o'clock, and M hadn't had a nap, despite being up since 5, so what - in my imagination - was going to be a delightful activity, where we bonded and laughed, and made beautiful biscuit masterpieces, actually turned out to be B having a lovely time, whilst I tried to stop M from eating the dough, throwing it on the floor, stealing B's cutters, and destroying the table with her rolling pin! Let's just say that, though I saved the table, I'm fairly certain we're going to find cookie dough in various crevices of the kitchen for months to come.

Just Add Glitter!

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When it comes to crafts, I'm not so great. Pinterest is both my friend and my nemesis. I love so much that I see there, but when I try the ideas out I invariably fail! And trying to do anything off Pinterest with the kids just results in everyone getting frustrated. So, today, we're going old school. Primary school to be precise. Those were the days, eh! Simple crafts, specifically designed for small children to do fairly unaided. The only Christmas crafts I can remember making at school are angels made from Art Straws, and gift tags made out of old Christmas cards. In the absence of any Art Straws - do they even make those anymore? - I have opted for the gift tags. While I suspect that most of you know how to do these, let's pretend you've never experienced the fun that is chopping up Christmas cards. Or perhaps you didn't attend school in the late 80s/early 90s and these might be new and amazing to you!

Our Christmas Traditions

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Christmas is such a traditional time, but the more people I meet, the more traditions I find. It seems everyone has their own that they are super passionate about, and when I married the Hubby I discovered new traditions that would now have to be a part of my Christmas, and others that I was shocked had never been a part of his. Making our own little family has enabled us to combine our traditions, and invent our own. So, here you shall find a selection of the Christmas Traditions in our house.

Advent:
Jesse Tree - instead of an Advent calendar, we have a Jesse Tree.  The Jesse Tree is a vehicle to tell the story of Jesus as pointed to throughout the Old Testament. Each day we take out a decoration to hang on our Jesse Tree. The first 16 decorations represent characters or events from the Bible; the final 8 are based on the 'O' Antiphons used during Vespers and mass at the end of Advent, and which are in the hymn O Come, O Come, Emmanuel. We try to read the relevant story from the Bible, or watch a video of it, and discuss how Jesus is shown in that passage. Sometimes we do crafts or activities based on the theme for the day, though these tend to get neglected as we get to the busier end of Advent. I hope that this will be a tradition that continues for many years, getting us all deeper into the Bible and discovering more about the reason for Christmas. If you want to find out more about our Jesse Tree, you can find my previous posts here.

Christmas Books - this is a tradition I've discovered since becoming a parent. Each night of Advent we read a different Christmas related book. The last two years I have wrapped each book up to be opened by one of the children, but this year I changed my mind. Too much work, and too much of a waste of wrapping paper! It was great the year M was born, because B was still in the stage of finding life with a new sibling difficult, so having a present to open each night was a brilliant distraction. I bought a whole load of Christmas books from a charity shop, and we are slowly replacing some of the more boring ones with much more delightful books. My favourites so far are Jesus' Christmas Party and The Lion, The Unicorn and Me.

The Ghost of Christmas Past...

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We bring you glad tidings of great joy!

Gone are the days of wrapping presents whilst watching Christmas films with my girlfriends, as we sipped on mulled wine that was kept warm - and topped up - all day in the slow cooker. Now the slow cooker does heavy duty cooking actual meals, and present wrapping is done hurriedly, at night, after the children have finally accepted that, yes, bedtime is happening again. Though the Hubby and I still enjoy a Christmas film whilst doing so. Nothing beats cutting lengths of sticky tape whilst watching Arnie punch a reindeer in the face! Thanks, Hubby, for introducing me to Jingle All the Way.

I've said goodbye to the mischievous delight of filling Christmas card envelopes with glitter to surprise my friends. Now karma - otherwise known as parenting - has taught me a torturous lesson.

Dear Father Christmas...

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Santa Baby - A Mum's Wish List

 

Santa baby, just tidy up a bit by the tree for me;

Been a fairly good mum, Santa baby,

So let me have eight hours' sleep tonight.

Santa baby, a toilet trip and time on the phone – alone!

Won't wait up for you, dear, Santa baby,

I'll be woken up just after you leave.

Think of all the work I do,

Think of how many times my children poo!

Next year I could be twice as tired,

So make my Christmas wish come true.

Surviving the Christmas Holidays

Photo by C. Durling, 2015

First posted as part of the 2015 #12DaysOfParenting

The school holidays always seem to come as a bit of a surprise to me now that I've been away from teaching for 5 years, and when they start I suddenly find myself unprepared for the lack of activities to attend. All the preschool-age groups stop and it's up to us  parents to be the sole entertainers of our children, or to brave very busy soft play areas, full of much bigger kids. No sipping a latte whilst the younglings run and climb - I have to start supervising!

I've found that saving the bigger Christmas activities and crafts for the last week of Advent maximises the fun and stops us from missing our groups. When I was growing up, my parents didn't put up our Christmas tree until just a few days before Christmas. Now I understand why, and we've continued that tradition in our home now. I think this makes the last week of Advent more exciting, and marks it out as different to the rest of the month, helping in the build up to Christmas Day. However, it has also had the added bonus of